During my divorce, my life spun out of control. As always with divorce, there are severe financial ramifications, as well as pressure to move forward and get life as quickly back to normal as possible.
There are kids involved, so I took the path that I knew would be best for me. My ex and I avoided the courts, opting for mediation instead of dueling lawyers. Through great financial strain, I managed to counter every thrust my ex through at me, and we decided amicably to finalize monetary settlements. I arranged to pay everything for my kids, providing all finances for them, while leaving my ex-wife with a very small sum for official child support.
I wanted to make sure that this divorce was on my terms, and it was.
So after a rough patch, I decided to do Spartan races. While all of this was going on, my divorce was being finalized, I decided to get into shape. I went to the gym a ton to reduce stress, and signed up for Spartan. I had never done OCR (Obstacle Course Races) before, and with everything going on in
my life, it was a chance to prove to myself I could do it, as well as meet fit chicks I could ask out.
As I did each race, I struggled with finding out what my life was all about, who I was. I still didn’t know. But during one race in southwest Ohio, I lost track of my team. I was alone, in the middle of a muddy mess, with 10 more miles to go and daylight fading quickly. I found out a lot about myself in that race. I found out what I was made of. I didn’t quit (even though I wanted to). I fought until the end, and found my team waiting for me. I had done it. I didn’t think I was capable, but my confidence skyrocketed.
But the Beta still lurked….
After my divorce, dating became the same as before I started, however, this time, I managed to meet more girls and have more sex. Of the 10 plus girls I dated in this phase, I slept with 5 of them, 2 were one night stands. Most of these were single moms whom I had nothing in common with, but we both filled a need. It wasn’t very fulfilling.
I was still in the Beta mindset, as I figured I needed to jump right back into the LTR (long term relationship) phase. I was stupid. I was still naive. Enter a woman named Tiffany….
I met Tiffany through OLD (online dating). She was about 5 years younger than me, had never been married, was a professional, and seemed to be everything I was looking for. I was the consummate Beta throughout our 3 month relationship. Frame was abandoned almost immediately, as I was pushing for another relationship. I liked this girl. I had oneitis. I abandoned everything about me to make it about her. I was pathetic.
All was going well, then one night late last July, she called me to dump me. I didn’t know why. Why did she dump me? I wasn’t as hurt as I was confused. After about a month of questioning myself, I decided (with help from my psychologist) to follow a path of self discovery. It was time to learn who I was, become a better version of myself, and unleash that person on the world.
I read. A lot. I studied. I discovered Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male. I read Robert Greene. I read Alan Roger Currie. I read The Game by Neil Strauss. I watched Youtube, I subscribed to blogs. It was time to become the real me.
I soon became Red Pill aware. I was finally becoming informed as to why I had failed all those years with women. All of the sudden, it became clear to me that my success hinged on me. My attitude. My work. My point of view.
While studying, I spent the winter and early spring at the gym. Improving myself. All the while, I would try the techniques suggested in the books. I was getting dates. I continued to study. The game had not become about scoring with girls (although that was going to be a great perk), but about becoming a new man. Becoming the best version of myself. I was winning in my life for the first time ever.
I was scorned by close friends and family members. I had changed. This wasn’t the man they knew. That’s how I knew it was working. They had steered me for all of my life, but now I was in charge of me. They had no say. I was the master of my own destiny. And that was the greatest power I could ask for.
A little over a year after unplugging, I have seen a tremendous improvement in my life. I recently met a beautiful girl whom I would have never been able to go up to and ask out. But because I was a quality man, she came up to me. She saw my confidence. And throughout this process, I have maintained frame. I am still on a journey of self discovery. But meeting this girl has taught me to be the best version of me I can be, and she really likes me for it. I’m not pretending anymore, I am genuine. And women notice.
As I type this, I look back at all the times I pined for girlfriend, I complained I didn’t have anyone, I put myself down because I couldn’t attract hot women. But, even though it took years to overcome, I now see this side of the Red Pill. I now see that self improvement is the bedrock of confidence in oneself, and I can’t thank those enough whom I read to become Red Pill aware.
So, I have decided to try to help those who were like me, especially those with kids, to become Red Pill aware. I want to reach out and help those guys who struggle daily with themselves. I want to be a beacon in the darkness that is the Feminine Imperative. You’re not alone, guys. Let me shine a light into your world.
I am the Red Pill Dad.