This is Part 2 of my “Men In” series:
There she is. That girl you can’t get out of your head. Great body, long blond hair, great smile, blue eyes, nice tits, sweet personality, everything you ever wanted. She’s all you can think about. You haven’t asked her out yet, but you see her every day at work, or every week at the gym, or this month at your friend’s get together. She’s perfection to you. She can do no wrong.
She’s the girl of your dreams.
Congrats, you have what we in the Manosphere call “oneitis“, or an obsession with one particular girl, or what some in the beta male would would classify as love. It’s portrayed as a man’s reason for living, and most plugged in men continue to pursue this fantasy, sometimes even succeeding, then getting buyer’s remorse for not knowing the complexities of women.
As we are approaching the reprehensible holiday of Valentine’s Day, a holiday invented in the second century AD by the Christians to skirt Emperor Claudius Gothicus’s marriage decree, and now hijacked by corporations, the Church, the feminine imperative, and Hollywood to make men feel bad for not giving gifts, spending time, or spending money on their significant others, we continue see love being perverted for different gains. It’s been weaponized against men, through this wretched holiday, as well as through the lens of what the feminine imperative could squeeze from it.
It’s time to talk about men in love.
Why Do You Hate Love?
“Love”, for lack of a better term, is used far too often for too many situations these days. Love is supposed to be a catch all for strong emotions about something or somebody.
The general response to the above diatribe from women to me would be, “Anyone who hates Valentine’s Day or love hasn’t really ever been in love, or they have experienced a bad heartbreak.”
While I have indeed experienced bad heartbreak (as have many men), I loathe that anyone who says I don’t like the word “love” is implying that I’m harboring an internal grudge against it because of past incidents with girls who rejected or broke up with me. People are dying to connect these dots, because it supposedly invalidates my argument.
From personal experience, in my early days as an AFC beta, I celebrated Valentine’s Day. I thought I had to shower a girl with trinkets, gifts, and attention to validate my love for her. I quickly learned that this was a fruitless endeavor. I grew a bit wiser, and throughout my later relationships and up to my marriage, I seldom celebrated Valentine’s Day, and “love” was implied in my relationships. When I was married, my wife, at first, didn’t need proof of my feelings for her, but when the time came that she did need this proof (and the check almost always comes due at some point), I was already out the door. The way that I saw it was, if I had to prove my love to this woman, it ceased to be love, and was now a business transaction.
Men can only feel “love”, or what they think is “love”, because as a goal, logic, and task oriented species, men focus on a goal and look for a solution. That answer when dating is finding “true love”, or the ultimate solutions to a man’s “problem” of being single.
This is what a fem-centric society wants. Love, as with most things these days, has been hijacked by the feminine imperative not as a raw emotion, but as yet another filter to use for their hypergamic natures. When a man gets oneitis, more often that not, he might as well be holding a giant, imaginary sign that states, “Average Frustrated Chump.” Women avoid this like the plague, and when they see it, depending on the phase they’re in, not even Beta Bucks will help you.
Countless romantic movies show men falling for a woman, being the “nice guy”, and getting his oneitis. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how a fem-centric society wants to weed out the weak betas.
I don’t hate love, I hate what it’s being used for.
The Problem Of Love
For decades now, the manosphere has been accused of being misogynist, as well as decrying the values of love. I think I speak for most of the mainstream manosphere when I say, I “love” women. What do I mean?
Well, when I say love in the dating / relationship world, I should be saying:
-I enjoy the female form
-I enjoy the female company
-I enjoy sex with an attractive female, all the emotions and feelings I get from experiencing pleasure with the opposite sex
-I respect and appreciate everything a female has to offer
-I have an incredible admiration for all the amazing things females can do that men can’t
So, if you must call these things love, then I guess I can be called guilty for “loving” women.
The main problem with love is that it’s an emotion you can’t have without consequences.
Love precipitates in many forms, including good and bad, but all very legitimate. It’s one of the rawest emotions. It’s brutality and bliss. It’s decadence and danger. It’s volatility incarnate. It’s chaos. This is why it can be used very effectively by women, because as creatures of chaos, it’s in their very large wheelhouse.
No matter how the chips fall in the dating world, saying that word invokes strong emotions from females. It’s a game changer, and as many a man has found out (including yours truly), saying that word too quickly in a relationship spells the end of said relationship. You can’t say it until she does, and even then the feeling may not be mutual. She’s always got something else on her mind, and it’s probably not you. Unless you have an understanding about the general nature of women, as well as their feelings on love, you don’t have the knowledge of the dynamics involved. The red pill alleviates many of these pitfalls.
The Responsibility of Love
Love is not harmless. It’s not a fleeting emotion. It’s a big deal, and it can get men into a lot of trouble. When men love, there are many caveats attached to this love, including financial, emotional, and physical support of their woman. This is how society expects men to show their love. Women certainly don’t need this love, as they are capable of supporting themselves, but throughout early to dawn of the 20th century history, the man has been the bedrock of a relationship, creating the “bubble” which the woman had operated in.
Then, with the advent of the Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s, women awoke to a new day where they controlled the dynamic, and they have not wrested control of it. They were the bubble, they made the decisions, they played the part. The sexual strategies being employed to this day developed in the past 50 years, and continue to evolve.
This is how society has been built. Love no longer represents a harmless feeling, it’s very real, and if men aren’t prepared, can be damaging beyond belief. It also represents a huge financial windfall for anyone wanting to make money off of it’s effects, from businesses marketing products, to family law, to state and federal governments, to churches, love’s for sale. And if you choose not to play the game of love? You’re a misogynist who’s been wronged far too many times by women. Shame, guilt, and ridicule await you.
I don’t condone hating love. My job is to make men aware of what it entails, what it stands for, and what it really means to be in love. Love was sold as a good thing, suspending men in the good life, being happy, having sex, everything you were told it was about.
However, love is no longer a fruitless emotion, it is a responsibility. And when presented like that, it’s not all roses and silk sheets. I’m here to tell you that it’s not.
As many wise men have stated, one cannot fully embrace the love of another without first securing the love of oneself.
One of the biggest adjustments of being red pill aware is not only the cynicism of love, but also the promise of how love can truly be fulfilled. One thing that red pill knowledge has afforded me is the ability to realize more amazing relationships. When you know what I know, you can approach love and relationships with logic, and still revel in the joys, feelings, and sensations of it.
Love is like fire. It can be controlled, harnessed for good, but only after you know how to deal with it properly. So educate yourself, so you can truly love again.