So as this is a blog about all things Red Pill, I wanted to start a new segment this week for all of my new readers.
As most of you know, I am very much involved in the dating game. I am a single dad, and as a such, I’ve been trying to learn game. Being married for a decade, and of course not being unplugged in the first place, my embarrassing exploits are cataloged on several of my blog posts. However, I’ve realized the error of my ways since unplugging and as an early 40’s single man, I’m exploring the world of dating with a new found vigor.
I’ve been learning game from many of my red pilled brethren, and I wanted to post updates on my progress for everyone to see.
As I have told you, my goal is for you to get a real sense of what it’s like to be in my life, as I confront challenges, learn new skills, approach women, and live my new life as a Red Pill aware man.
Where Can I Learn Game?
There are many resources for men to learn game. I’ve been using several good references for my game practice. But I’ve been trying to learn it from several sources, especially trying to see what works for me. Rather than just googling “PUA techniques” which will of course get you some idea on what to do, I’ve been going through several avenues. So let’s start with books that gave me a good background while I’m out there:
- The Rational Male series – Rollo Tomassi: Obviously I have a soft spot for Rollo as his book was the reason I became unplugged in the first place. Knowing the world of the Red Pill is a huge first step, and these books deliver that is spades.
- The Game – Neil Strauss: This is the quintessential read for anyone looking to see what the PUA community is all about. A very good read for some history on game and who plays it.
- The Art of Seduction – Robert Greene: A very good primer on all things seduction. Greene really drives home methods of seduction, describing types of seducers and each of their preferred methods.
- Mode One – Alan Roger Currie: A quality book detailing Currie’s preferred pickup motif, direct communication. I’ve read it twice now and have employed techniques in this book.
- The Mystery Method – Mystery: Quite possibly the most famous PUA wrote a book on pick up, and it’s very good. I recommend it.
- The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida: A great primer into the mindset men have to have when dealing with women, career, and life in general. I can’t say enough good things about this book.
I have several game gurus on my side bar as well for good reference. There are hundreds of other books by authors like RooshV, Mark Manson, Pook, and others that can give you information.
Why Do I Need to Learn Game?
Game transcends all things in your life. It’s not only good for picking up women, but is also good for advancing your career, and good for getting you to your purpose. It promotes and builds confidence, which is the number one factor that is invaluable for you to have with any endeavor.
Also, as in my case, online dating is a cop out for a beta looking to be plugged back in. Most men don’t like to date, they want to be dominated by a woman in their life so they can talk about sports, play golf, or play video games.
But men who actually want something out of life MUST learn some sort of game. They have to be able to handle themselves with different types of people in different situations. It’s one thing for a man to go through the motions, quite another for one to be a trailblazing leader of men. This is why game is so important. It gives you the skills to be a badass.
So I’ve Learned About Game, Now What?
Well, now you have to do what I did. I would also do it concurrently so that you’re learning on multiple fronts. The concurrent steps are:
- Get your ass to the gym and
- Start practicing your approaches!
These are both key in your grasp of game. Why? Because:
- Going to the gym will improve your physique and grow your confidence
- Practicing approaching women will increase your knowledge and improve your game with women
I am doing both of these things more and more. I go to the gym 4 days a week, for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time.
I also have been approaching women. I’m all for cold approaches, however, I’m more of an IOI (Indictor of Interest) type of approacher. Cold approaches work in terms of sheer numbers, but for guys like me with a tough time finding good times to just do this, the IOI approach can be golden, you just need to know what to look for. BestPUATraining.com is a good start for looking for IOI’s.
The bottom line on IOI’s is sustained eye contact from a woman, as well as a smile from her.
The best way to start your game is to have three things down pat:
- Eye contact
- Open Mind
Keep practicing, going to the gym, and boosting your confidence. You’ll find your preferred method with study, practice, and adjustments.
How Do I Meet Women?
So, you’re like me. You’re 35-45, you’ve learned about game, but where in the hell do you go to meet women? Online dating, in my opinion, should not be a primary source of your approaches. Most of what I’ve found in online dating are girls with emotional issues, fatties, or spam. It’s convenient, which is why it’s not a good source of women. You gotta work for it (you knew I would say that, didn’t you?).
At best, online dating should be supplementing your social life. It should never be a primary catalyst for meeting women.
You have to get out of your shell. If it just means going to a bar, sitting by yourself and having a drink, then so be it. Here are some ways I’ve been meeting women recently:
- I took a yoga class. Not only do you meet women, but they are fit and you get in shape.
- I’ve increased my social circle. Whether it be through work, finding hobbies that you share with other men, joining clubs, the gym, etc. Meeting new people always opens up the possibility of meeting new WOMEN.
- Go (by myself, yes) to bars, clubs, coffee shops, and restaurants. Being able to be comfortable with yourself is a giant weight off of your shoulders in the quest for game.
- As you get into shape, do other classes, or join a Brazilian Ju Jitsu or boxing club. Knowing how to fight increases your confidence, as well as putting you in better shape.
- OCR Racing or other activities are a great way to meet fit women. I do Spartan, which allows me to travel to events and meeting hot girls.
- Networking through your business. As a business owner, this is invaluable, not only for growing potential business leads, but also for meeting women. Many of these events are at bars, pubs, or restaurants, and the women come with the turf.
These are just a sample of the many things you could do. There are hundreds of other examples.
RPD Field Report #1
So with the quick and dirty about game out of the way, let’s start with my first approaches while learning game. Here are some of what I’ve encountered.
I’ve had about 21 approaches in the past three weeks, most have happened at bars, pubs, yoga class, and four happened at my networking events. I will detail a few that I’ve found success with:
- I was at a networking event and I noticed an 8 looking at me. I kept eye contact, and then smiled. We held the look for a few more seconds, then I approached. She was distracted by another person, so I interrupted and asked her if she wanted a drink. I whisked her away to another part of the bar, talked with her for about 30 minutes, and closed with a number.
- I was at my local pub drinking when a 7 came up to me and asked me if I was looking at her (I wasn’t, I was actually looking at another girl, I didn’t even notice her, lol), and I replied, “No, but I’m looking at you now.” She laughed, sat down, and I closed with her number.
- I was flirting with a bartender at a club and had just learned palm reading (or that’s what I told her) and she watched me as I clumsily tried to read her palm. She was flattered and I closed with her number.
- I asked a girl out I had been flirting with (a solid 7 server) and she replied with “I’m just so busy, I don’t know if I can.” My response was “You’re not busy enough for me.” She gave me her number.
These are just a few of the examples of my closes. As I learn and gain more confidence, it will only get better.
I’ve also had several approaches that have ended in her walking away in disinterest. There have been many (75%) of these approaches that have resulted in shitty rejections, but the one thing you have to do is shrug it off and realize it’s not a slam against you, it’s a slam against your game. One girl called me a fat ass and said she doesn’t date fat guys, another girl said I looked like a nerd she picked on in college (keep in mind I’m 43, 6’4″ and about 260 lbs). So you will get rejected, A LOT. Keep at it.
Remember, Rollo always says “Rejection is better than regret.”
Online Dating as a Supplement
As an experiment, I am supplementing my game with Tinder. My goal right now is to meet lots of different types of women, and with an app that allows me to do that on a swipe, I had to take advantage of the convenience. Now, I will tell you that Tinder is a shit show. There are tons of fatties, especially where I’m at, and emotionally challenged women from all walks of life. As you begin dating again like I do, you’ll learn to spot those types and swipe left.
- no fatties
- anything with a Snapchat filter is automatically swipe left
- profiles without full body shots is a swipe left
- Anything where there are pictures of every body part except face is swipe left
So I know a lot of you don’t approve of online dating, but in the spirit of meeting as many women as I can, it’s proven to be a hot bed, especially since I’m tall (6’4″) and muscled out. But my filters have helped as well.
Dating as The Red Pill Dad
So there’s a brief glimpse of what I’m dealing with as a 40-something navigating the dating pool in the Midwest. I will continue to produce these reports as I get the time, and will report my triumphs and setbacks. I want you all to see what I deal with in real time, with real time results. If I can do anything, I want to convince all of you that you can do this, and you can do it well.
Time will tell with me personally. But I’m already off to a great start, and have achieved more in 6 months than I could’ve possibly imagined.