The Bitch is Back

Photo Credit: Make Him Yours

So a very recent phenomenon has happened to me a few times in the past couple of months and I couldn’t resist the chance to write about it.

About eight months ago, I was sitting in a local coffee shop working on my blog when I got a good IOI looking up from my computer of a HB 7 typing away on her laptop in the same vicinity.

I approached, sat down, and started talking to her. We hit it off pretty well. She was one of my very first approaches.

I closed and got her number. I called her and we set up a date.

As the date got closer, she contacted me and abruptly cancelled. Really no explanation except she was “really busy with work.”

But we all know what that means in fem-speak. She was spinning plates. And it’s okay for her to do that.

The old me would not have understood that. But we’re in Red Pill me time now.

I never heard from her again. Until…

Just recently, I had posted a updated workout pic as I am working very hard to improve my physique. Low and behold, I get a text from her.

“So how are you?”

Of course, my first text was, “who is this?” (I knew, but I also knew why she was texting)

“It’s Trish. I was thinking about you, wanted to see what you were up to.”

I replied coldly, “Doing my thing. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wanting to see if you wanted to meet up and get some coffee sometime.” she weakly stammered.

I responded directly. “I appreciate the offer, however, I really don’t make it a habit of going out with girls who cancel dates and never return texts or calls.”

She tried to apologize, but I wasn’t having it. I cut her off and said my goodbyes.

Anatomy of a Bandwagon Bitch

This whole situation was thought provoking for two reasons:

  1. If this was the old me, I would’ve gone out with her in a split second and,
  2. This was a textbook example of what the manosphere is always preaching about with hypergamy.

So before we go into the two issues above, let’s analyze the woman who was doing this above.

She’s 28, brunette, business professional. She’s hot enough to have 20-30 orbiters around her at all times for validation and ego enhancement. She won’t stay in one place for very long, having a ton of casual sex but not owning up to it, and when she does have a relationship, it lasts at most a few months. In a word, she’s “flighty.”

In her hummingbird world, there will always be a better man. Until there isn’t. In the female game of musical chairs just before her epiphany phase, she’s hedging her bets to get the best possible “beta bucks” all while having her last flings with alphas that she hopes to “change” before she hits the wall.

Women like this are fighting the inevitable, trying desperately to keep the epiphany phase at bay. But as we all know, the check comes due sooner rather than later.

Why Now?

Which is why I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this particular girl was coming up on my phone.

From eight months ago until now, I have improved my wardrobe, lost 20 pounds, and have been steadily improving my approaching, confidence, and demeanor. So I was at least aware of the possibility of this happening, however, what got me thinking was the TYPES of women who were coming back trying to “give me the pleasure of having her in her life” as one Bandwagon Bitch put it.

The few that have come crawling back try to trick themselves into thinking they aren’t crawling at all. As with all female solipsism examples like casual sex that doesn’t count or the universe representing only her views, they feel like now I’m “good enough” to include in their “spectacular” lives.

But the old me wouldn’t have figured this out. I would’ve been happy if a HB 7 came calling at all, and would’ve done all I could do to make it work, even when she cheated on me years later because she’s bored.

The societal landscape has changed.

These are single women essentially acting like single men. And we as a society are okay with that.

But as we shun single men because they “refuse” to settle down or “grow up”, we celebrate single women as powerful because they don’t do that. We aren’t empowering females by encouraging them to act like males, we’re killing the woman that lies naturally within her, cutting off nourishment.

The consequences of such a paradigm shift are starting to show.

As we are seeing more and more, there’s buyer’s remorse from betas on their flighty wives, post wall women regretting they didn’t have kids or live the life of a woman, and lonely middle aged feminists looking for men to “man up, grow a pair” and take on them and their kids.

But like I said, there’s a new me in town.

I chose not to fall for the bull, and as with most things in the manosphere, knowledge is power, and she played right into obscurity.

Don’t Fall For It

The reason the manosphere talks so much about things like this is that they DO happen. And this is just another example of it. Knowing what to look for and how to avoid it can only help you achieve a level of awareness that will keep you focused when a girl of better attributes does enter your life.

However, the most disturbing thing about this is that, somewhere, at some point, some guy will take the bait and be stuck with this nightmare. And those are the men that I’m trying to reach everyday. They must not make this mistake, or they’re in for a world of hurt.

So as you’re working on your quality, be mindful that some girl you’ve approached or been intimate with is watching you and will be in touch again because you’re better than you were.

And without hesitation, please show this “Bandwagon Bitch” the door.

If she doesn’t like you when you’re at your worst, she doesn’t deserve you at your best.

The Pain You Need

Photo Credit:

At the birth of my beta existence, I was a senior in high school. I hadn’t dated much, and was just discovering girls, while many of my peers had been dating for 2-3 years. I was a virgin who had very little experience in this realm. I was a pretty hopeless case. A text book beta.

So it goes without saying that my first screaming case of oneitis occurred in these beta formative years. And of all my cases of oneitis, this was the worst.

She was tall, athletic, blond, and gorgeous. Tiffany was a freshman when I was a senior. She had lived in my neighborhood, and I knew of her growing up, but when she hit high school, she blossomed into a beautiful woman. And she knew it. So being a beta turd, I was already at a disadvantage. I was put into the friendzone almost immediately, with my only success being a stealed kiss waiting for a friend at my parents house.

She dated two of my friends as I continued into college. I was extremely hooked on her, almost unhealthy, and as she graduated, she would bounce around dating my good friends (everyone except me, essentially).

I still wouldn’t take the hint. When she entered college at my university, I tried to continue to play the nice guy. I took her to dinners constantly, listening to her drone on about how my friends were so awesome to her and she had a crush on them. Bouncing back and forth between my two best friends at the time, it was agony for me. And I still couldn’t drag myself out of it.

This screaming case of oneitis had cost me my college freedom. It had closed me off to what was possible. And even worse, if she had asked me to do anything, I would’ve done it twice over. She had a spell on me, and it really affected me.

On several of our dinner dates, I would continue to hint that I would be perfect for her, molding myself into someone she could date, but she would always tell me no. I’d be destroyed for a couple of months, and then go right back to trying to court her. Hope was killing my life.

Hope is a death knell for betas.

It was after college that I finally came a bit to my senses. I started to distance myself from her, only to have her come over and complain about my friend and her’s relationships. Then, her and my friend broke up. I thought this was my chance.

It was a May afternoon about a year after I graduated from college that I heard that not only was she not choosing me (a statement she had made many times before), but she was dating another one of my best friends. I exploded. She called from her car and I went off on both her and my friend. I was done. I didn’t talk to them for years after the fact.

But it didn’t have to be this way.

I’d never taken rejection well. To the point where if I was rejected, I would cower for two – three months and be petrified of approaching any girls. I had to resort to online dating so that I could buffer the horrible pain of rejection. So my high school and college careers was a series of oneitis catches, then rejection, then despair as I tried to get over it. It really was pitiful, but it was all I knew, so those years were essentially a dumpster fire.

“It’s As If You’ve Been Physically Hurt”

Rejection is a primal human fear. It’s a part of us. According to Psychology Today, rejection actually “piggybacks off of pain pathways in the brain.

Humans have a mapped feel for rejection, all the way back to ancient times. Humans have a need to belong, “and when they were ostracized by their tribe, it would almost mean certain death“. So in that sense, rejection was a life or death issue. Survival instincts kicked in after a rejection.

These days, we fear rejection even more, and the ostracization of people can be even more felt. So much so that society has put in buffers.

So terrified are we as a society of rejection, so terrified are we of social interaction, that we have built our dating technology, food service, grocery delivery, and dining out experiences to avoid speaking with people.

Think about it. We have food delivery, pay at the pump, grocery delivery, carry out, porn, and swiping right and left to specifically avoid talking to people in person. Social interaction means exposing ourselves to some form of rejection, and we avoid it like the plague. We like our bubbles, and we erect comfortable walls to keep us safe inside so we don’t have to feel that pain.

So what’s the result? Well, disaster.

Social skills are lacking in younger generations. Young men are having less sex than ever before. The amount of men not having sex has increased three fold over the past 10 years. We have buffered ourselves into a stagnation of child birth rates.

Reading body language, reading a room, interacting with people have all become quality skills that are needed these days. It’s amazing to me how technology has gone out of it’s way to push keeping people in their bubbles.

And all of this, all of it, because we want to avoid the pain of rejection.

The Alternative

Pain hurts. Of course it does. It’s a human body’s generated response to “stay the hell away from that”. But pain is also the body’s greatest teacher. Which is why we as a human race need to stop avoiding it.

S what did I do after I snapped? Well, continuing on my destiny of being a plugged in beta, I finally, finally, got out of my shell just after college. I started to work out more, I started to date more. I was meeting people. I would slowly work my way out of my rejection funks. Where before I would zero out for months, it was now weeks or days. Then, I met my wife.

The “lost decade” for me came after I had made so much progress. I fell back to Earth. And I didn’t have the chance to really come into my own, choosing the path of least resistance. Then I got divorced.

Going through the hell of divorce makes you a different person. The pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of divorce. When you start feeling REAL pain, financial, emotional, and physical, you realize that rejection is nothing.

So as I emerged from my divorce, it was time for me to finally take control. I fluttered around for about a year, dating occasionally, and still feeling the sting of rejection, but not to the extent I felt in my 20’s. It was getting better.

I’ve had three relationships in the 3 years since my divorce, and each relationship has taught me more and more about rejection in the big scheme of my world. The pain was becoming less intense with every breakup, every rejection, regardless of situations.

“Pain Don’t Hurt”

One of the most famous lines from the 1989 classic movie Road House, Patrick Swayze makes an excellent point. As he’s getting stitches from Kelly Lynch without numbing, he’s telling her about the amount of times he’s been stabbed, shot, and beaten up. His body has become used to it. It comes with the turf of being a bouncer.

So what the hell does this have to do with rejection? Well. I’ll let my recent experiences tell you.

In the past year, I’ve been rejected over 300 times by women. And while I now don’t think that’s a lot, taking the beta Red Pill Dad numbers of 2 months average after a rejection to get right, that would be over 50 years to stew over that many rejections. 50 FREAKIN’ YEARS. I’d be 75 years old with the same oneitis problems. What a waste of a life.

My pain is now pleasure. The pain of rejection has now been turned around in my life to give me a road map to be a better man.

Pain from rejection turns into learned experience and eventual success.

After any rejections, I don’t stew. I think, I write, and I study. I take advantage of my pain to show me what I did wrong.

Instead of passively avoiding the pain like we see society doing, I am actively working to avoid the pain by studying my techniques and learning what works.

Now, I’m approaching and getting rejected more than I ever had. The key to rejection is to NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL. Knowing that one fact will make the pain of rejection that much more easy to take. Whether she’s in a relationship, not in the mood, you don’t click with her, you live in different cities, or you have different goals and interests, it’s just not a fit.

She’s just not into you, bro.

Getting past the pain of rejection was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But overcoming that pain is small compared to the regret you’d feel living a life of disconnect just because you don’t want to feel it.

Feeling pain is living. So it’s time for you to start.

Stories from the Dating Front – May 2019 Edition

So, my approaches continued from last month. Let’s look at the big board:

  • 27 approaches
  • 6 numbers
  • 17 said they had boyfriends / husbands
  • Avg age of approach was 29, youngest was 22, oldest was 42
  • All were between HB 6 and 8
  • Majority of this month’s numbers were procured during business networking events.
  • Took advice from some of my follows on Twitter and changed my environments (fishing in a different pond, so to speak)
  • 0 Tinder Matches / 1 Bumble Match
  • 6 date setups, 2 flakes, 4 dates
  • 0 sexual encounters

May was a very tepid month as I’ve been busy with work and kids winding up school. I was able to go to several networking events at places considered to be a daygamer’s dream, large pubs / bars frequented by thousands of professionals every day. The lion’s share of my approaches came during these events, and I’d rapidly increased my cold approaches.

Networking Approaches – Part 1

We start with a networking session at a very large and popular bar / club in the city. I was able to attend for about three hours and this is where the majority of my numbers / successes came from. 2 numbers were gained from cold approaches alone, and 3 others came from talking to staff / bartenders / servers, etc.

My goals were simple. Talk to as many attractive women as I could in the time allotted, and I was able to do that 10 girls in just over 3 hours.

I got IOI’s from a few, but even if I got just a quick glance, I would approach and start conversing. I have had success using several good pickup stances, like exploring her likes / dislikes, hopes, dreams, keeping her off guard. Negging has been very successful.

This night was probably my most successful to date, as I procured the majority of my dates with the women I met here.

I knew the good vibes probably wouldn’t last…

Networking Approaches – Part 2 – Bitch Shields Activated

So the bigger of the two events happened just last night. This was the largest networking event I had been to, with over 500 business professionals in one of the biggest bars in my town.

However, the majority of the professionals were not my cup of tea, so I left the networking area and decided to camp around the bar for approaches.

I did all cold approaches. No IOI’s.

And my second approach? Bitch Shield x 1000.

She was near the bar, looked like a local, so I made the mistake of asking what was good here. Instant and utter disbelief. She had snapped.

I couldn’t tell if she was drunk or on drugs, but she instantly raised her voice at me saying I was trying to hit on her. And while she was a decent 7, her instability instantly put me in flight. Most of the bar noticed, and I got some “sorry” looks because apparently I had just hit on the bar psycho.

Not ironically, this girl who had so blatantly bitch shielded me was the same one being a complete and total jackass at the bar later on that night. She had lost her car keys, and the bar staff weren’t taking kindly to her treatment of them. So off she went, and my concerns were sated.

My energy was good. As I stated on my Twitter Live feed, I felt good. I had eye contact, posture, and my devilish smile on full display. I felt like the approaches were genuine, and when I could tell it wasn’t working, or I wasn’t getting where I would have liked to, I would shut off or at least get a number.

After being petrified of women most of my life, it was finally good to go to a place with hundreds of people, and be totally relaxed and engaged. I was analyzing the room, checking IOI’s, body language cues, etc, and it felt very good to get that vibe down. As I approach more and more, that vibe will only get better.

All in all, it was a decent month. June’s report won’t be as good, simply because I will be going on vacation in the middle of the month, but I will be doing more cold approaches.

Will have a full blog post coming out this weekend.

The Conundrum

Credit: Business Insider

After my last relationship ended last year, I wasn’t as anxious to get back into the dating pool. I had seen some of the worst the dating world had to offer (or so I thought), so getting back out there, especially with what I knew, had to be done a bit more delicately and with much more savvy.

This started with the Red Pill. I was just scratching the surface with it in December of 2018, so I had yet to really apply it in my dating life, and that would have to be a primary action in order to go back out there. I wasn’t going to be flying blind anymore.

So, I went back in. I started to do more approaching, journaling my progress, and for the past 5 months, I’ve been playing the game, albeit poorly at times, but I’m still a work in progress. I’ve never been shy about saying that.

But a darker side of the dating world has shown itself to me in this time. That of the cheating spouse. In the five months after my last breakup, I’ve been involuntarily solicited via text by married women no more that 10 times, from 7 different women. I’ve been sexted by several “happily married” women I’ve met though my business networking contacts. It’s a dirty little secret, but I’m seeing more and more of it in my time being single.

It’s Never Who You Think It Is

The first text was innocuous enough. “What are you doing?”

A strange number graced my phone screen. I was perplexed. I didn’t know the number, and being the obsessive compulsive phone guy that I am, I didn’t answer right away. Then the screen lit up again.

“It’s Tanya from Dynamix.”

Who? Oh. I remembered.

I had recently been to a networking event for local business owners in my city, and met no less than 20 different women, most were decent enough, but Tanya…

Tanya was cute. An HB 7 with long brown hair, sexy blue eyes, and an athletic 5’7″ frame. She was a girl whom I’d spotted early in the night, but my attention went elsewhere when I noticed her ring. She kept trying to get close to me, but I kept my distance. It’s not that I wasn’t attracted to her, it’s just that hitting on a married woman wasn’t in the cards. I don’t actively seek to help anyone cheat, unless they have an axe to grind, and being used as a sex toy for a struggling sexual relationship hasn’t ever been too terrible of a position for me.

But in general, I don’t solicit married women. I know that if I’m to be married or even in an LTR later in my life, I’d like to make sure that Chad isn’t waiting in the wings to screw my wife or girlfriend. I don’t want to be that guy, but I understand that there are more and more of “those” guys, especially these days.

Beta men are getting married to their oneitises, and in turn, dropping all illusions of trying to better themselves. Marriage becomes the “honey do” list, sex once a month, beer belly, and sports, porn and long hours after work drinking to avoid the inevitable.

I know this book well. I’ve been there. I’ve lived it.

So it stands to reason I know what these guys are doing to sabotage their marriages. Women are hypergamous in nature, and with their innate need to trade up to a better man, they’ll go looking for anything better than the beta they’re saddled with. Enter me with Tanya.

Tanya had drank a few glasses of wine by the time the event hit it’s stride. We’d locked eyes and exchanged sly smiles for most of the early evening. She was maneuvering over to my position with alarming rapidity, and all I could do was try to be as polite as I could be, but damn, she looked good. Low cut ivory blouse, business suit skirt, wicked black high heels, and a pearl necklace. She jingled as she walked with jewelry her husband had bought, and as I went back for another beer at the bar, I knew she had started following me.

I gave in. We started to talk, and before I knew it, we were kissing in the parking lot after a few hundred beers. It was a haze to me on what I said, but it must have been something amazing, because here she was, not three days later, texting me.

It’s Never Going That Far

I tried to ignore the phone for as long as I could. But I texted back, finally.

“Hi. How are you doing?” I muttered.

“I’m good! Just wanted to see how you were.” she answered.

“I’m good as well.” I typed.

“Look, about the other night…” I started. She quickly interrupted my texting by calling me.

“It’s okay.” She spoke.

“I just wanted you to know how awesome it was to meet you. I was hoping we could get some lunch?” She nonchalantly asked.

I knew where this was headed. I just knew it.

“Listen, Tanya. You’re really nice, but you’re married.” I uttered.

“I know. But I’m not happy. I’ve not been happy for a long time. But I have fun with you. Even though I just met you, I feel like we’ve known each other for ages.”

“Let’s just have lunch.”

And, here was my conundrum. I have an attractive woman, a MARRIED, attractive woman, who wants to have “just lunch.”

It’s never just lunch. As I was about to find out.

Two days later, I was at lunch with her. She looked even better than before. I knew I had to say something. I knew I had to do something. It was just before the end of the meal that I spoke.

“Why are we here? Why are we doing this?” I stuttered.

“Because we want this. Now, what are you gonna do about it?” she asked.

So, I calmly smiled, had her follow me out, we got in our cars, she followed me to my house, and I had sex with her. Great, unfettered, passionate sex. Nearly 3 hours of sweat. Every room of the house, the shower, kitchen, even on the bathroom sink. We didn’t even speak, we just took each other, embraced. Then she and I got off of the floor, got dressed, kissed, and went our separate ways.

I never heard from her again.

It’s Never Just About Her Husband

As a divorced man, I’m one who is definitely against the whole idea of marriage, especially when we see incidents like the one above that I was involved in play out everyday. Men and women are cheating, and in greater numbers than ever before. Infidelity is becoming more widespread, with greater numbers happening after that 10-year marriage date.

But I wasn’t ready to face this epidemic head on, much less be a major part of it. But here I am. And it’s not just one woman, it’s many. They like the idea of “Chad Thundercock” taking them away from their problems, and I enjoy the idea of forbidden fruit. It’s all a thrill, but one that you can’t really brag about.

I’ve seen a marked increase in married women propositioning me. It’s pretty much the same makeup. Attractive, fit, sexy 30-40 year old women, either “neglected” by their husbands or boyfriends (as Tanya reported to be), or have been cheated on, or any combination of factors contributing to a sputtering marriage / relationship. But it’s more than that. We have a generation of people who are bucking the ideas of monogamy for the thrill of the fuck. Having something they’re not supposed to have. And they proceed to do it, then vanish back to their other lives.

I’m seeing it in all of my observations of my friend’s, relative’s, co-worker’s relationships. Everyone is so damned unhappy when they’re married. Sex is non-existent, stress is prevalent, and fighting is a daily occurrence.

I’ve lived the beta male lifestyle, and I’m seeing my close friends and family living it too. And the seeds planted early in the relationships are coming back to flower into a failing marriage. Guys who didn’t have frame, didn’t lead, didn’t learn to be their own person, getting with women with similar problems, turning into a dysfunctional nightmare of sexlessness, behind the back depravity and eventually full blown disaster divorces.

My thoughts on the changing concept of marriage and what it needs to develop into are for another blog and for another time. But know this. When you get back out in the dating pool, this possibility and now, reality, will hit you in the face and you need to know how to deal with it.

It’s Never The First Time

I had a choice to make. Was I going to be that guy? The guy that fucks married women? I fought it. I had to do the “right thing” the next time.

Another woman solicited me. I had met this woman through my kids school. I knew her husband. As an acquaintance, I would tell him what she was doing. I would show him.

It went as bad as you would expect. After I showed him, he burst into anger, throwing my phone, asking me if I took her up on her offer. I repeatedly denied it, and he stormed out of my house, slamming the door behind me. Now, they are divorcing. I thought I was doing the right thing…but I was only making it worse. I haven’t spoken to either party since then.

She’s obviously unhappy. She’s obviously lonely. So why not tell him yourself, woman? Why did I have to be the receiver of a sext, and then be the asshole who has to tell your husband you’re trying to cheat on him?

Well, as you all know, it’s never the whole story. He had cheated on her before, and she was trying to get back at him. It wasn’t the first time cheating for either of them as well, as I discovered.

What a fucked up mess.

It’s Never Black and White

So what’s the answer? Well, there really isn’t one.

Many of you are probably disgusted that I would sleep with a married woman, but I ask you the same question: What would you do?

Most of you would respond with the high minded response of “well, I would never put myself in that position. And I wouldn’t placate her whims.”

But wouldn’t you? It’s an easy answer when your dick’s limp, but try making that decision in the heat of the moment, and I think you’ll be a bit more pliable. But I don’t make a habit of sleeping with married women. I’m still looking for a long term relationship. But I’m also realistic. If a situation comes up again like the one with Tanya, I’d be hard pressed to say no. And maybe that makes me an asshole. But there’s a reason she’s looking.

So, the bottom line for me is don’t ask, don’t tell. I don’t share things like this lightly, as it generated strong emotions from all fronts, but I’m human, and while I don’t condone sleeping with married women, I won’t fault you if you do. If they throw themselves at you, are you going to be Mr. Good Guy and wag your finger? Fine. Then that’s you and your approach. I do that with 90% of the married women who proposition me. But I can’t say I’m perfect. None of us are.

“A stiff dick has no conscience.”

So, as you date, be aware of this growing segment of women. They’re not going away anytime soon, and you’ll be confronted by them sooner or later. How you take things is your choice, but be aware of the consequences of each choice.

And be ready to defend your choice, she may be texting you soon.

Stories from the Dating Front – April 2019 Edition

Credit: iStock

This is the first of two blog entries coming today:

So many of you in the past few weeks have inquired about my approaches and where they have gone past getting a girl’s number, so this week I thought I would share some stories of dates I’ve had in the past few weeks.

Spoiler: They haven’t been very good.

The dating grind is very real, and as a business owner and single father of two kids, it’s even more real for me. My time is very valuable, and I’ve been trying to make each approach and subsequent courting count. But alas, the dating game is very different from when I was in it some 15 years ago, and I’m getting a crash course in what happens.

These stories are not meant to scare or intimidate men getting back out into the dating scene, however, these are very real and I want to show everyone what I’m doing in the dating scene from date to date, almost cataloging what works, what doesn’t and what I experience. The show must go on regardless of my time constraints, so here goes.

Not Expecting It, But Also Not Surprised

My one and only Tinder date was a HB 7 who lived about an hour outside the city. This was a disaster, but as I look back on it, it was a bit hilarious.

The date started out innocuously enough, with me setting up a quick text to her for a meeting at a coffee place. I was going to be there anyway, so I figured she would be able to come, great, if not, no big deal.

She arrived late to the date, and then sat in her car talking on her cell. After she pulled up and finally got out, another car pulled up next to her, it was a man who was just sitting in the parking lot. I thought nothing of it.

We hit it off well. After a quick 30 minutes, the guy gets out of his car, comes in, and he makes sure to sit directly behind our table. He wanted me to see him. He starts incessantly staring at me. I figured that this was her out in case the date didn’t work out, a friend or something.

Nope. It was her husband. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised when she finally told me that he was a cuck and liked to watch her hit on and take home strange guys, but my only comment was:

“I don’t mind sleeping with married women, but this kind of stuff is too much for me. Good luck.”

“I’m Just Getting Back At Him”

Of the myriad of networking groups I belong to, as a local business owner here in the Midwest, I meet a ton of different people. Another number I got led me to a different kind of date, one that I won’t forget.

I had met a girl who ran her own wellness company and had gotten her number. After about 3 weeks of trying to nail down a date, we finally got a chance to go out to lunch.

She made it early, and as I sat down to speak with her, she ordered a shot of Tequila. Seeing as how it was noon on a weekday, I was a bit confused, but I ordered a beer and we started to talk. She had been having some stress, I could tell, but when I pressed her on it, she stated that her work was keeping her busy and she was just getting over being sick.

Now beta me in the past would have let it slide, however, the new Red Pilled me was a bit more savvy. I pressed her more about her mood, and she caved. Her boyfriend had been going out with his friends a ton, and she was fighting with him about it. So she was trying to cheat on him to get back at him. I told her she needed to have another drink, but if she didn’t mind, that I wouldn’t want to be the one she was going to have sex with.

“I’m more about passion with me, not passion about fucking over a boyfriend.”

I did end up sleeping with her, however, after she stated that she had broken up with her boyfriend.

I later found out she hadn’t.

My last date just this past Friday was with a woman who was meeting me a local restaurant bar. I got to the bar early, as I knew it very well and had attended several networking meetings there, so I thought I could get some work done while waiting.

She was having another date just before me at the same place. I had a drink with her, then called it a night.

Other Numbers

So April was not very kind to me in terms of my work, but the learning experiences I gained will only help me in the long run. Some other April numbers (approx 20 days):

  • 34 approaches
  • 7 numbers
  • 20 said they had boyfriends / husbands (and didn’t wear their rings…)
  • Avg age of approach was 30, youngest was 23, oldest was 38
  • All were between HB 6 and 8
  • Majority of the numbers were procured during dinner at local restaurant bars, business networking events or kids scheduled events (sports, academic competitions, etc.)
  • Finding local restaurant bars are an effective way to meet women
  • 2 Tinder matches (1 date, see above, 1 flake)
  • 7 date setups, 4 flakes, 3 dates
  • 1 sexual encounter

So not the best month going, but I learned a lot and what to look for for next time. It’s a struggle, but I’m going to keep at it.

So with that we move into May. I will be making some adjustments on my end, especially with qualifying women ahead of time through text or chat, but I’m trying to keep texting to a minimum.

What I’ve Learned So Far

People lie. A lot. Especially online with Tinder and other dating apps. People misrepresent themselves constantly. Had I known the Tinder girl had been married and enjoyed cuckoldry, I wouldn’t have gone on the date. People are wasting other people’s time and it does get frustrating. I’ve tried to portray myself as I truly am, even going so far as to tell girls to check out my FB / LinkedIn / other social media. Staying true to oneself on social media is a fucking pipe dream, but I aim to break that cycle.

Misrepresentation of relationship status is another major problem. As Rollo Tomassi says, “She has a boyfriend / husband until she doesn’t.”

I’ve been witness to several different manifestations of this dynamic. With women tired of their boyfriends and looking for a hypergamous hookup, or just testing the waters of the dating world (one girl had had the same boyfriend for 5 years and was tired of the same old, same old), I’m finding that women are out trying to find something other that what they have, and that depresses the fuck out of me, even though I’ve been the object of their affections. More on this in my next blog entry.

But so far, it’s a tough road to hoe (pun intended) but I’m glad I have the ability to look back and analyze my progress or lack there of. I’m also glad I can keep approaching, as it’s helped me with not wasting my time on cold approaches. Looking for IOI’s has also become easier for me. But I’m much more careful on who and how I approach.

In summary: I have to keep going. I am going to the gym now 4-5 days a week, and I’ve been involving myself in more business networking events. I’m forcing myself to go out and interact with people, and it’s starting to pay off. I’m much more relaxed around hot girls, much more myself, and knowing there’s nothing to be afraid of makes my approaches all the more effective.

But I’ll continue to work and record what I’m doing. Because you can do it too.