When I entered the “manosphere” (I really wish we could come up with a better name, but it’s stuck and will forever) in September of last year, I entered a sphere chocked full of men trying to help other men, either by profit or not, and growing unity with conventions, workshops, and meet and greets out to help other men. In fact, when I started The Red Pill Dad account, I was finally on board after a dead end decade long marriage had ended in 2016.
I, just like other men who come to this world for help, was bitter and jaded from a marriage and divorce, as well as bad relationships with BPD girls, an overweight dominatrix, as well as four relationships that had ended with either me cheating, her flaking, or a little of both. So I was starved for some kind of guidance. While in the dark times of 2016 in the middle of my divorce, nearly jobless, stressed, depressed and suicidal, disowned by my family for daring to do my own thing, I bought a book called “The Rational Male” and it did indeed change my life. Rollo’s information (at that time had been floating around the manosphere for over a decade if not longer) did light a spark in me. I’m forever grateful to Rollo for his book.
As I got further in, I met amazing men such as Hunter Drew, Jack Murphy, Rian Stone, ADJ, Alexander JA Cortes, Ed Latimore, and saw a very good camaraderie and an amazing group of people who were just what I was looking for to help me not only continue to find out who I am, but also, as I morphed into the man today TW Beckett from The Red Pill Dad, I’ve also understood that all of these men, and I do mean all of them, have been through some shit. I came here to learn how to take back control of my life, learn to deal with women after half a lifetime of struggling, and better myself by doing hard things. My journey is mine, and there are parts I share that are difficult, and may show me as less of a man, but I can’t change the past, I can only learn from it.
While I’ve only been on this side of the world or what is called the “manosphere” for a little over a year, I’ve seldom commented on the ongoing beef between the factions. I don’t like it, I think it’s dumb, and I want it to end and all sides come to an agreement, so we can all move on to helping men. In particular, I’ve watched anon accounts throwing bombs at good men who I’ve become friends with without any acknowledgement of their own issues. I hold my tongue often because I know it’s just internet trolls and twitter fucks are a dime a dozen.
I don’t have a dog in this fight, but when good men are run down because of the bullshit they either had to or chose to endure in the past, I have to speak up. Call it white knighting if you must, but these are men I’ve met, I know, are heads of organizations that I am a part of, and wear the scars of their shitty choices every day as warnings to those of us who could be in their situations.
There is an ongoing purity test in the manosphere that men who’ve endured some shit don’t have the moral chops to lead other men or talk to men about how to be better. If they’ve had a significant other cheat on them, participated in some type of wife swapping or cuckoldry, served time, sells services as a “life coach”, etc. I don’t do any of that shit, and I’ve never had any type of issues with cheating (I’ve cheated many times) but it still stands to reason that every man has a story to tell, has done some things that he isn’t proud of, and learned from those things to come and show men how to endure and get through the tough times to get to where you are today. I appreciate men who show who they are, what happened to them, and what they and I can learn from their experiences. If the manosphere is anything, it’s about men going through hell to get back to taking control of their lives, and if men are buying Rollo’s book, they’re going through hell and have been wronged by a woman at some point.
The purity test comes in when a man’s past is questioned as whether he can lead and motivate other men. I can’t say this enough, EVERY MAN IN THE MANOSPHERE HAS BEEN UNPLUGGED. Every last one. In the many conversations I’ve had with many men, that fact cannot be overstated.
In my personal discussions with many of these men, nothing has come across such as “marry the girl you love”, “she’s the one”, or any other shit like that. Do you know why? Because they’ve all read Rollo. They all know the score. They all have the iron rules memorized. The mistakes they made in the past LED them to unplug and not ever fall for the shit again.
That’s a majority of the manosphere, and men that I talk to on a daily basis tell me that they are glad they’ve found us and that we can help them, but the daily bomb throwing is taking away from the message. But it is what it is.
Whenever you throw a purity test in the mix, whether you’re an anon in the manosphere or a pearl clutching feminist, history has shown again and again that there is no one pure enough. There will always be skeletons in closets that will be red meat for those that think certain people shouldn’t be leading or producing diatribes for one way of life or another. There will always be someone who is more pure, has more of a moral high ground (or so they think) and can throw morality bombs with impunity. The internet adds to this effect because of anonymity. I dare say if most of these trolls showed their real faces, we’d see them as the same broken men that we see talking to us about putting our lives back together.
So far, the purity test of the manosphere that I’ve observed is:
- don’t have a woman cheat on you and take her back
- don’t allow your woman to sleep with another man willingly (cuck)
- don’t go to jail for a petty crime that now involves a legal substance
- don’t try to sell your advice
- don’t council men to fall in love, give flowers, show affection or emotion, etc.
- Can’t or shouldn’t ever raise another man’s kids
- have a long term marriage with a woman that is in your frame
So far, it looks as if this follows a “purity” test pretty well. We see internet tough guys and anons firing off these tests in rapid succession as a front to those men who wish to help others but shouldn’t because they aren’t “pure”.
If guys are using the above criteria for grading men who are leading this manosphere, no one would pass the smell test.
I pass on almost all of the purity test, except the long term frame stuff, but I’ll get that box checked with flying colors. If we are going to use Rollo and his life as our litmus test, he escaped with his life from a terrible BPD relationship and has raised a daughter and a wife as a leader, exactly the same shit that all of these men teach other men.
We’ll never know the whole story of the beef, but if one side can toss shit at the other and vice versa, we can see the real issues come to a boil in the form of men just not liking each other. Everyone teaches the same stuff, it’s just a matter of time before it all boils up.
Men in need of our help come in all shapes and sizes. They’ve been through the shit of life. They have no idea how to deal with women. And all you are doing by screwing with dudes who are trying to lead and bring up their pasts is hurting the cause that we all believe in, that men can and do take second chances. That’s what the red pill is to a lot of men. A second chance to make better choices with their lives, especially with women.
I don’t condone any of this shit, regardless of what side it comes from. But I do understand that it’s taking away from what we are trying to do here, and it’s not going to change any time soon.
But I also don’t like any men who show their asses to degrade other men, and both sides do it. It’s childish and it’s taking away the important work every man is trying to do.
How in the hell are men supposed to get better when asshats bring up their past mistakes? How are men who’ve participated in cuckoldry, a cheating spouse, or other incidents supposed to get help when they are made fun of at every point to try and degrade their contributions to the ‘sphere?
These are men just like you and I, who’ve made mistakes and are learning from them and taking these dark times and pushing through. If you don’t like it, fine. But the red pill doesn’t care what any man’s been through, it only cares about how to get that man back on his feet.
I stand with those who stand with me, who own their mistakes and refuse to back down in the face of such arrogance and stupidity.
I stand with the men making it happen every day, I stand with those who made mistakes and own up to them, not those the provide an invisible goal that changes every day with how they live their lives. These are men trying to get better, realizing their flaws, and working to make them better.
Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy have done nothing but support me and help me grow in my following. They are fellow fathers who’ve made mistakes and have owned up to them and are trying to help fellow men not make the same mistakes.
I can’t, in good conscience, support people who consistently beat down men who’ve made horrible mistakes, all while trying to promote helping men because of some stupid feud. It’s counter-productive to what we are all about and it’s a masturbatory exercise that only boosts the egos of those who choose that path.
If this means I choose a side, I guess I do.
You should pick on some one your own size, because Hunter Drew and Jack Murphy aren’t even close to you.
Bring it. I’m ready for your ridicule. And I don’t give a flying fuck what you say, it doesn’t affect me in the least. But do so with the caveat that other men are watching you act like children, and are taking notes as to who’s who and who’s on what side.
So add another chump to the mix of your “purple pill” gurus, even though I’m not purple pill and I’m certainly not a guru. My life is on my pages at my blog and you can comb through it to your heart’s content to make fun of me. I don’t raise another man’s kids, I’m no cuck, and I’m not taking back an ex.
The Rational Male was written for guys just like me, Hunter, and Jack. We needed that knowledge in our lives, and we continue to use it every day. It’s not a punch line, it’s a way of life men need. But wrong or right, it’s about acting like you’ve been there.
But I wish I was, because I’m not half the man these guys are, nor will I ever be. They’ve accomplished more than I have, they’ve led men to get their lives back together, and they’ve allowed me to join their ranks and given me great knowledge to help me on my own journey. I’d gladly take these men working to help guys unplug than a meme generator that throws bombs any day.
So you have another “purple pill cuck” to throw bombs at. Block me, talk shit, there’s plenty to make fun of. I make no excuses nor do I hold back on what I’ve been through.
My journey will continue with a few less people on board, but it will be real, it will be open, and it will be unapologetic.
Bring it or grow the fuck up and get to work helping men.
They’re watching all of us.