“Prepare your hearts as a fortress, for there will be no other.”    

Francisco Pizarro

Superman needed space.

He needed a place to go to get the fuck away from humanity. He needed a place to be himself, to vent, to figure out the questions in his head, his place in the world, the reason he was sent to Earth. He couldn’t get that in Metropolis, a city of bustling sheep and where his slam piece, Lois Lane, was always getting herself into damn trouble.

Humans, for all their benefits, were trying for the Man of Steel. Sheep, all of them, except a very few. So he hauled ass to the North Pole, threw his crystal, and watched it turn into his own, personal, fortress.

His home, his own walls away from the shit the world was throwing at him.

He needed it.

He needed to get away from a world that, many times, took him for granted. This was his world to develop his own person, his own world.

Not a comfort zone, mind you, but a place to grow without distraction, to learn without judgement, to act without guilt.

The world saw him as a savior, but nothing more. He needed a place, a home, to grow himself as a person. He didn’t want to be a weapon to defend, he was still a person, as strange as he was.

Explore, Roots, then Build

For the younger guys out there, my advice has always been the same.

Explore your world. Travel. Find a place that touches your soul.

What place speaks to you? It doesn’t have to be fancy, the city, the country, what ever, just explore and find a place that hits you as a man and fills you with a sense of “this is home”.

It may take you years to find it, but while you’re looking, you may very well find out what Goldmund did, that your home is your soul, and wanderlust is in your blood forever.

My story? Not really very exciting. Born and raised in Indiana, and my soul is truly here. The autumn is truly the time of year that I feel my soul connect to the place I inhabit. The seasons make for a great backdrop for the changes in my life that seem to happen every year, without apology.

This is the place I wanted to live. Could I have gone elsewhere? Sure.

But this is my home. It’s the place I call mine. It’s my Fortress of Solitude.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way. After rebuilding after my marriage ended, I could’ve gone any other way, but I chose home. Indiana is where my heart is and always will be. And that, young kings, is what you have to find. A place to call yours. A fortress to build your empire out of.

The greatest empires in the world had and still have spectacular cities at the heart of their culture. Rome, for example. Still the herald of ancient cities to this day, and still exudes greatness. It’s the heart of the great empire. It’s what you need.

Your decision will come to you automatically when you see the place you are in. It won’t take very long to see that this, indeed, is the place you want to put down your roots and build your empire.

Whether it be in the mountains, beaches, valleys, woodlands, jungles, or plains of this world, there is a place that will sing to you to call home.

But the search must begin. You can’t hang your hat on a moving train. You must KNOW what you want in order to feel it. So have a plan, have an idea, and have a dream. You can’t have a home if you don’t identify what makes it that way.

If you truly don’t know yourself, you can’t know what place will work for you. Self analysis and work to set out your boundaries, likes, dislikes, joys and turn offs will only lead to you finding the place you want sooner and with less headaches.

Define yourself, then define your world.

WHY A FORTRESS?

Men ask, “Why do I need a place for me?”

It’s the most important place in the world for you. It’s where you can grow, develop your talents and skills, learn, and express yourself without the absolute shit show of the outside world intruding. It’s your place to build your world.

You have to have a sanctuary for all the bull shit. You have to have a place to go when shit gets heavy and you need to put it down. You need to have quiet, you need to have peace, and you have to make it your way.

Build strong walls and a solid foundation, to keep the world out so you can work on yourself.

This is your space, defend it with your life. No person has a right to change it, nor should they request the same of you.

Many men give up their personal space too quickly to the prospect of pussy. They change things they’ve stood by for years because a woman wants them to change.

If she wants to change you, she’s not the one for you.

This is your world. This is what you’ve built.

Imagine building your own house and busting your ass over it for YEARS, only to have someone come in with dynamite and a sledgehammer simply because she’s got a pretty face and a nice ass.

Men will sell their souls for pussy, only to find out the bill is a shit ton bigger than they ever imagined.

So they cash out, become bitter, all while living in a bubble that wasn’t created by them, but for them, but those that want to see them do other people’s bidding.

You create your world. You build your fortress. If folks don’t like it, they can take a giant fucking hike.

Your world, your rules. It’s time to say “tough” to those who can’t deal with your fortress.

You build it for yourself. You build it to get away from those that would see it destroyed. You build it as you build your boundaries.

YOU ARE THE KING OF YOUR CASTLE.

This hasn’t changed nor will it. But men, just like Superman, have become useful tools that are only needed when the world is threatened, then discarded after the danger has passed. There’s still more for you to do. There’s still a shit ton of value you possess.

While men are primarily valued for what they provide, there are tons of other factors that determine your worth, especially to yourself. You dictate all of this.

Men have more control over their lives than they realize. They just need to take the step to build the walls that enforce that.

You are Superman. You aren’t governed by anything except your own desires, needs, and wants. You control you life, so start building your fortress.

You will appreciate the fact that you did for the rest of your life.

In the blink of an eye, she appeared just behind me at the bar. I hadn’t seen her all night, but somehow, she had seen me. After she casually said hello, I treated her with the same lack of attention that she had done to me so many times 4 years ago.

I was talking to several regulars at the bar about the usual things, COVID, sports being back and maybe going away again, Trump, the police, and race issues. The debate was good enough that I failed to notice her looking at me most of the night, until after she came up, then I noticed more and more. She was trying to catch my eye, but I wasn’t having it.

We had met 4 years ago while I was in the death throes of my “nice guy” phase. I would see her at my local watering hole as she was a regular there.

I always wanted to get in her pants. First I tried the “be nice” approach. Talking with her, ordering her drinks, paying her tab. Didn’t work, she wasn’t having any of it.

Then the inevitable ignoring her, all while secretly hoping she’d see the dude I was and come running. Still nothing. She played the game well and was well versed in what a nice guy does. She’d seen it all before and I represented zero challenge. She was just like any other girl I lusted after while in my beta phases. Trying to figure out the combination for 2 years yielded my nothing but questions on what I was doing wrong.

But then that night at the bar….

Changing the Narrative

When a guy goes from the nice guy to the real guy, his priorities shift. But what doesn’t usually shift is the way women saw him and the way they still see him.

No matter the distance between the guy you were and the guy you really are, she’s not buying it, because she was sold on the guy you were and that made an indelible mark on her.

No matter the strides you made, no matter the weight you lost, no matter the style you have, the fairy tale of a self confirmed beta nice guy getting into the pants of the girl of his dreams after changing himself for her seldom comes to fruition.

And that’s the rub. I’ve seen men completely change themselves all for the possibility of the love of a woman they wanted in their lives, only to watch as despite all of their work, she still sees them as the man they were.

What they say about first impressions? That’s pretty dead on balls accurate.

The main motivating factor for all of this should be for you to change yourself for yourself, not for others. But guys will have plastic or bariatric surgery, spend thousands on a new wardrobe, get Lasik, or other things, not for themselves, but for the love of a woman.

Guys will literally replace their old personas in a matter of weeks or months in order to get the girl.

But what they have to understand is that this whole narrative doesn’t exist because she refused to allow it.

She saw you as a non-sexual entity. As far as being able to turn that piece around, it’s very difficult.

I see a lot of men trying to get some sort of success porn revenge on the women who turned them down by living successfully, however, they aren’t living successfully by shifting their entire persona. They are quite literally playing the game she’s dictating. They’re letting her decide what they do to try to get her in their lives.

It’s a matter of the “right lesson, wrong application” syndrome that recovering nice guys try to apply. The whole point is to either show her up or get her to accept you as a sexual being. It doesn’t work that way, because she doesn’t fucking care.

Women are going to size you up in a few moments and if you aren’t there to shine, there’s rarely a reason to keep going. Now I’ve seen romance bloom after YEARS of not seeing the person and seeing a new man come forward, but you don’t have that kind of time, and that also means she has to be out of your life, which ain’t happening if you’re pinning your hopes on this latest stunt to get her.

Grant Her Wish

After making it more than apparent that she was indeed looking at me that night, I smiled, paid my tab, and left the bar without so much as a word to her.

I know she was wanting to talk to me, but I didn’t want to talk to her.

I knew how she felt, but more importantly, I knew how I felt. I didn’t change myself to be with her. I changed myself to get rid of girls exactly like her.

And her first wish was the one she meant. She wasn’t attracted to me in that way. And no amount of polarity, tension, or PUA techniques would change it. She was probably good for a lay, but when you see a girl not be attracted to you, believe her, regardless of your improvements.

This is what guys fail to realize. They do whatever it takes to WIN the girl, but never wonder if they should. More times that not, winning the girl means losing in life, because the life you built up just for HER is not compatible with the life you wanted.

Pussy is powerful, but it shouldn’t be.

Men will change their lives in detrimental ways in pursuit of it, without even a care as to the consequences.

You, as a man, HAVE to be able to see the forest from the trees. It is absolutely imperative that men be able to take their eye and put it on the real prize, a life they actually want, versus the women of their dreams.

But here we are in 2020, having the discussions of what “gets me the girl”.

One thing that game, PUA, and the manosphere have taught me is it’s never about the girl.

The girl brings good things in your life, but only as an accessory to what you are doing.

When your world revolves around her, it ceases to be yours.

It’s now hers. And she doesn’t want the damn thing.

She never did. It’s an idea concocted in your head and your head alone.

Which is why the crashing disappointment is a vicious cycle that men can very seldom get out of. Imagine if you will, a woman of your dreams, the dream girl that you can’t live without. She comes up to talk to you, excited to see the new person you’ve become, and you walk away from it. You walk away from all of it. Why?

Because she’s not the answer to your prayers. She’s the antithesis to your expectations.

Stop thinking she’s your world. She doesn’t want to be. And do what I did. Regardless of your past feelings for her, make the right decision to avoid something that could be worse than you could possibly imagine.

A girl that wants to be a part of your life leaves no doubt.

But you still, of course, have to approach.