Demons

“Stop fighting your demons and start putting them to work for you.”

  • T. Wayne Hicks (Formally TW Beckett)

So as I’ve been in my self imposed monk mode for going on 6 months now, I have been able to really do some soul searching.

Through FoE (Fraternity of Excellence) and other outlets, I have been able to re-establish who I am, who I was, and who I want to be.

And the man that you all know and love is still here, but he’s going to be under a different name. A REAL name.

The man I am is the man I will present to you all. It’s not a great unveiling as much as it is an acceptance of the fact that I can’t hide from my beliefs anymore. A surname or pseudonym need not be used, especially if the man behind them has the balls to stand up for his beliefs, no matter how controversial they are.

While it’s just a change of a few characters, it’s a huge shift in this environment today. Thoughts like mine are usually cause for cancellation, ridicule, and anger. But should it be that way? Hell no.

But it is what it is. And that alone has made me leery about this decision. But I can’t stop, won’t stop. I’ve forged my life the way I want it and now, it’s time to employ my demons to make the landscape complete.

The Challenge

As my monk mode settled in during COVID, I realized that not only had I not exorcised my demons, I had made new ones.

I was so intent on being good with women, so pushing myself to overcome this ONE challenge that had dogged me my whole life, that I let everything else slip.

Sure, I was having a ton of sex with girls. I wasn’t afraid to approach anymore. I was doing well with all my dating. I had established myself as a high demand bachelor before my monk mode hit, but everything around me was failing. In my blog post, Rise, I realized this and knew that I had to stop building a life I didn’t want, but at one time had thought I wanted.

It’s hard. Thinking you want something, then you work hard as hell, going through hundreds of approaches, and when you finally get it, you realize it wasn’t what you wanted.

This is the PUA life in a nutshell. I tried to push it because I thought it was what I wanted. It wasn’t.

Sometimes the things we want aren’t the things we need. And I found that out after a year of chasing pussy all over the country.

So I had to challenge myself and my thoughts in what I truly wanted, and it all kept coming back to my life I was trying to run from. My home, my kids, my job, my business, my everything. It was all being neglected for pussy.

I knew what I had to do, I knew this wasn’t the life I wanted after a pursuit of it with reckless abandon.

I’ve often been referred to as the “Single dad playboy”, and as we know, those two worlds are not compatible. Not in the least.

When I eventually brought some of these girls home, what would my daughters think? Do I really want to be the man whore who never got his ride or die?

I’m not afraid to die alone, I am afraid of dying not knowing who I truly was, and not accepting my beliefs. It’s another case of living someone else’s life, even if I was convinced this was the type of life I wanted.

I’m not trad. I still believe in the values of game and being good with women.

I still believe in men taking control of their lives, but if I’m truly going to reflect a change, I have to start with myself, accepting the man I am and the man I want to be, real name and all.

I do realize the danger in doing this. I do realize I’m opening myself up to cancellation for simply putting out my opinions.

I’ve weighed all of this. If I’m going to truly realize my goals and my purpose, I have to meet men face to face, as Timothy Hicks. I wouldn’t be doing them a service if I played pretend, after all my railings against that exact lifestyle choice.

My reality is now a REAL reality. No more hiding in the shadows of surnames, protection from the fire, it’s time to step up.

Put Them To Work

My demons, who’ve haunted me for so long, are going to be turned into my employees. It’s time to focus them on my purpose of helping men. They will be used in teaching men what not to do.

They will be used to get men better with women, yes, but more into working on a man’s confidence and swagger. I will be continuing my journey and that’s not changing one bit.

You still get to see me as I am, as I have been, as I will be. Just as the real name me now.

It’s been quite the journey from September 2018 when the Red Pill Dad came onto the scene with his general red pill wisdom, to the change of TW Beckett and getting into the inner workings of all things single dad life.

I want to thank you all for all of your support. I have met and made some great friends during this journey, and I hope to make many more. I am going to continue to write, put in the work, and master myself and my life, but now I’ve got my demons on staff to help me further my life, as well as help other men further theirs.

The story continues when you turn the page. And this story is just getting started. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. But now I will do it as me, Timothy Wayne Hicks, for the rest of my life.

My Journey will continue. And it’s just getting started.

2 thoughts on “Demons

  1. Your journey is fascinating because you’re so brutally honest. What you did right. What you did wrong.

    That’s why I enjoyed Rian Stone’s Fuccfiles. He admitted his mistakes as well as shared his triumphs.

    Looking forward to meeting you irl.

    – Roman

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