“Some of the best years of my life were some of the worst. If you know, you know.” – Tim Hicks
No time is worse than rock bottom. But no time is better to learn than in that time.
6 years ago, I was there, I was at rock bottom.
And as I sat alone in my gigantic empty house, devoid of furniture, working my ass off to get it ready to sell, in the middle of divorce, work issues, and personal problems, I had a choice. I had to either get up and fight, or lay down and die. I was fighting for my new life, not suffering from one disastrous choice after another.
The bottom line: I had to choose to OWN my life.
So, I picked myself up and I decided to do just that.
Every year since, I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and decided to do something that would improve my life.
People make broad resolutions based on what they think they want, what society tells them they should do, or what their friends or family are pointing towards, but very rarely do these folks ever truly look internally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally and do what’s best for THEM.
But I’m here to tell you, not only are resolutions important, but they should be a regular part of your daily life.
Small goals add up to bigger dreams. And there’s no better time to start than now.
You don’t have to wait until the calendar strikes the next year to truly take control of your life. You learn hourly new things you want to achieve, ideas that you want to implement, and challenges you wish to tackle.
And that is the key to all of this. What are YOU doing to make yourself better?
Utterances as the ball drops are just that. It’s why you see an empty gym in February, after the potential go getters get got.
So many people don’t want to make bold proclamations because there will come a time the rubber will have to hit the road and they won’t be ready.
So they chuckle to themselves, laugh out a “maybe next year” and fall back into the inevitable rut they figure they’ll be in until that day again comes around when they look at themselves in the mirror and say, “Let’s try this again.” Same song, same dance.
But there are the determined few that understand what resolutions actually mean. They mean an end to “normal” and the beginning of “work”.
And that simple fact terrifies the normies.
But it emboldens the strong willed. And makes them the people that lead their lives in quiet determination, confidence and consistency.
In short, they do it because it’s hard.
My years leading up to Twenty Twenty One have been a long journey to discovering who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. It’s been a series of forward progress, devastating setbacks, and small wins that has propelled me to the person I am today. It’s been acceptance of my past indiscretions, my current faults and flaws, and my boundaries, convictions, and beliefs as they’ve manifested in these past years.
I made resolutions in each of those years. Not only yearly, but monthly, daily, and hourly, to improve my worth as a person and become the man I’ve always wanted to be.
I’m not there yet, and of course, the tough part? I will never be. I will never get to the heights I want to, but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
My weak points are many. I am addressing them one at a time. Sometimes my convictions wavered, which shouldn’t be up for discussion. And that exposes a weakness in me that I don’t believe my own words, that there will always be an exception to my declarations about myself. If a man can’t hold to his convictions, he’s a shell of a man.
So I made resolutions, daily, and put up. And I’m still doing it, at this particular moment, with my health and fitness. But even with my yearly proclamations, I still, daily, make sure I’m still on course with what I’m doing. My history has shown that my dedication to these changes will be consistent.
Last year, it was relationships. I had to finally come to terms with the very blatant fact that long distance relationships don’t work for me, they never have, regardless of the hope I had in the women I dated. I had two women that I had to let go of, two very awesome women, because the distance can’t be overcome. I’m an Indiana boy, always have been, and my life, my kids, and my world is here. Many things are unmovable, others are flexible, but the bottom line is my core values have evolved into a solid line of what I want in my life, and with these in hand, I vet and date with a purpose now.
Two years ago, it was my ability to be a father. I left my kids on auto pilot while I decided to jet set. And it came back to bite me in the ass. I needed to be a father first and foremost. My kids were suffering because I was there but wasn’t really there. So I made it so I was there.
Three years ago, it was my identity. I wasn’t the jet setting, red pill, tall, dark and handsome “playboy” that met beautiful women around the country in an attempt to bring one back for a relationship. I was the father of two girls, business owner, no nonsense man who wanted a simple life with no drama and no frills.
And slowly, over the years, with these resolutions, I’ve solidified many of my core beliefs. I stand for what I stand for, more and more things fell into place, and as I’ve learned from experiences, my stances have hardened into what I won’t and will tolerate.
As I’ve surpassed more and more resolutions, committing myself to being a better man, better person, and having more convictions and standards, my list of preferences for who gets to be in my life have changed as well.
2022 brings new resolutions that already began and have worked in perpetuity in from the last 6 year.
- Fitness and Health – I’m in the best shape of my life and getting better. New personal trainer Phil Foster has helped me dial in my macros and I’m working on getting my abs I’ve always wanted.
- Taking a fighting class – My kids and I want to take a fighting class and get better at learning basic fighting skills
- Contacts – One of my biggest things to overcome is “touching my fucking eye”. I want to get contacts and work on being able to touch my eye and handle contacts with my hot dog fingers
- Become more handy – I am going to make a concerted effort next year to be more handy, taking better care of my house and understanding basic fixes for my home
- Debt – I will be out of debt in 2021, and my finances will be better and will continue to grow in 2022.
These are all big time goals I want to set and hit for myself. I may not hit them all, but I will sure try.
And that is the bottom line: You have to try.
Make a resolution, right now, today, to make yourself better.
Make a change, however small, right now. Drink more water, don’t eat out as much, go to the gym, start a small side business, write, take on rock climbing, shooting, bow hunting, etc.
But don’t wait until after the decorations are down.
I’m telling you through my experiences, TODAY is the day.
For nearly 20 years of my adult life, I stood still and let life happen to me.
Then, on my 40th birthday, I made a resolution that I was going to be a better man.
And that resolution has come true today, 5 years later. But it’s only the first step….
So get on board on your own life.
Make shit happen, with or without a proclamation.
This should be your daily resolution.