A Letter to Myself

Photo Credit: VisitSpokane.com

Dear Tim,

How’s it hanging? This is you writing to you. I wanted to say how proud of you I am for all that you have accomplished so far in this life. I can say that the last 2 years of this (so far) 43 year journey have been some of the best in your life.

You know, you’ve been through a ton of stuff in the past 4 years. They always say you have to hit rock bottom before you can get to the top, and they weren’t kidding. Between battling depression, anxiety, obesity, and monetary problems, you’ve been there. You were suicidal, but I want to tell you, I’m so glad you chose to live you life. Killing yourself is the most selfish act in the world, but it’s even worse because you wouldn’t have seen the heights that you have risen to as well as the heights that you no doubt will get to in this life.

I want you to know something. I love you and I’m proud of you.

However, this isn’t a reflection on what you’ve done, this is a reflection on what you are and would do. This is a reflection on what you still have left to accomplish. This isn’t a swan song for a live well lived, this is a battle cry for continuing to hoist the shield wall of your life every day. This is setting the “what would I do?” from the “what will I do?”

This is your wake up call, even if you think you’re still awake. You aren’t woke enough yet, sir.

I want you to answer this question. What would you do if you died today? What things would you regret not doing?

What are your goals, wishes, dreams for this remaining life?

Answer truthfully. Because I already know what you are going to say.

What would you regret? Here goes:

You should’ve gone to Argentina when you had the chance. In college, you had a glorious opportunity to go and do a major in Spanish. You would’ve been immersed in a beautiful country for 6 months. Yes, it would’ve been some debt, but the life experiences you would have had can not be replaced. Yet you just wanted to get out of college and get a job, girlfriend, house, car, etc. You know what you missed. Don’t do that again.

You needed to work other places besides your father’s business. You needed to explore your interests, rather than putting yourself in a position that you didn’t have any flexibility. While this has worked out in the end with you owning your own business, fulfilling one of your top goals, it still would’ve helped you more in your life to have those experiences.

You needed to go and try new hobbies. You didn’t have a damn clue on what your interests were until you were over 40 and starting over. You have a life in your 20’s and 30’s meant for exploring life and living, not working and trying to check off someone else’s goals.

You’d regret not dating around more. You know the spice of life and the way to truly find your partner in this life is to date as many women as you can. And yet, you sit in an office much of the time running the same places, never looking for new avenues or new leads. They won’t come to you. Time to switch up and get out there more and more.

I know what you are going to say. There’s a ton more. These are just the ones I can think of on my mind at the moment. Think of your wishes. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Allow me to tell you.

You want to travel. You want to explore. You want to meet new people. You want to strengthen bonds of people you already know. You want to continue to be successful in business, learning new skills like sales and ownership.

You want to be independently wealthy. You want to get your finances in order. You have 20k left of debt. You can get past this damn wall. You will. You will be financially independent. You want to earn a good salary from your side hustle and writing a book is a huge goal. Get to work.

You want to continue to help men who reach out for help. You want to make sure that they don’t make the same mistakes you do. You want to share your life and make your mistakes an example of what not to do.

You want to continue your fitness journey. You’ve lost a ton of weight, but you still have that six pack that’s waiting for you on the other side of hard work. You want to do Spartan. Get new T-shirts and medals, get more trifectas, compete in the Elites. You’ll get there, don’t stop.

You want to learn new things, read, absorb. You want to learn to box, fight, and protect your loved ones. You want to continue to learn more firearms training, as well as other outdoor activities.

You want to date around. You would love to have a harem. Don’t lie, you know you want two to three women sharing you. And if you keep doing what you’re doing and get out more, you’ll be there. GO TO NEW FREAKIN’ PLACES, BECKETT.

You want to be more involved with your kids. You already do a great job, but you need to do more. You need to exude a masculine leadership and be a role model for your kids. They’re counting on you.

But you know deep down, at some point, you want an LTR with a woman who supports you and your mission.

But most of all, you want to continue to grow. You have come so far, done so much. But this is only the beginning. You have to do more, better, faster, and harder.

You will make excuses, you have in the past. This morning, for instance, you made an excuse that you wanted to sleep in instead of going to the gym. You didn’t. You went. You worked. I’m glad you did. Your body and mind are glad.

No more excuses. Go up to that girl. Ask her out. Take your kids places to experience life. To be the best they can be. To live without regrets.

Bottom line: You’re an amazing person. You’ve decided after a tough divorce to live your life. You are taking opportunities instead of making excuses. But you can’t let up on the gas. The time when you think of giving up is the time you need to push the envelope. It’s time for you to do more, be more, try more and accomplish more.

For 40 years I wasn’t able to say this, but I love you, Tim Beckett. I love every part of you. You are an incredible man, amazing father, and lifelong friend. You have a ton going for you, don’t squander it. I know you won’t.

Love,

TW Beckett (You)

The Bitch is Back

Photo Credit: Make Him Yours

So a very recent phenomenon has happened to me a few times in the past couple of months and I couldn’t resist the chance to write about it.

About eight months ago, I was sitting in a local coffee shop working on my blog when I got a good IOI looking up from my computer of a HB 7 typing away on her laptop in the same vicinity.

I approached, sat down, and started talking to her. We hit it off pretty well. She was one of my very first approaches.

I closed and got her number. I called her and we set up a date.

As the date got closer, she contacted me and abruptly cancelled. Really no explanation except she was “really busy with work.”

But we all know what that means in fem-speak. She was spinning plates. And it’s okay for her to do that.

The old me would not have understood that. But we’re in Red Pill me time now.

I never heard from her again. Until…

Just recently, I had posted a updated workout pic as I am working very hard to improve my physique. Low and behold, I get a text from her.

“So how are you?”

Of course, my first text was, “who is this?” (I knew, but I also knew why she was texting)

“It’s Trish. I was thinking about you, wanted to see what you were up to.”

I replied coldly, “Doing my thing. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wanting to see if you wanted to meet up and get some coffee sometime.” she weakly stammered.

I responded directly. “I appreciate the offer, however, I really don’t make it a habit of going out with girls who cancel dates and never return texts or calls.”

She tried to apologize, but I wasn’t having it. I cut her off and said my goodbyes.

Anatomy of a Bandwagon Bitch

This whole situation was thought provoking for two reasons:

  1. If this was the old me, I would’ve gone out with her in a split second and,
  2. This was a textbook example of what the manosphere is always preaching about with hypergamy.

So before we go into the two issues above, let’s analyze the woman who was doing this above.

She’s 28, brunette, business professional. She’s hot enough to have 20-30 orbiters around her at all times for validation and ego enhancement. She won’t stay in one place for very long, having a ton of casual sex but not owning up to it, and when she does have a relationship, it lasts at most a few months. In a word, she’s “flighty.”

In her hummingbird world, there will always be a better man. Until there isn’t. In the female game of musical chairs just before her epiphany phase, she’s hedging her bets to get the best possible “beta bucks” all while having her last flings with alphas that she hopes to “change” before she hits the wall.

Women like this are fighting the inevitable, trying desperately to keep the epiphany phase at bay. But as we all know, the check comes due sooner rather than later.

Why Now?

Which is why I wasn’t the least bit surprised when this particular girl was coming up on my phone.

From eight months ago until now, I have improved my wardrobe, lost 20 pounds, and have been steadily improving my approaching, confidence, and demeanor. So I was at least aware of the possibility of this happening, however, what got me thinking was the TYPES of women who were coming back trying to “give me the pleasure of having her in her life” as one Bandwagon Bitch put it.

The few that have come crawling back try to trick themselves into thinking they aren’t crawling at all. As with all female solipsism examples like casual sex that doesn’t count or the universe representing only her views, they feel like now I’m “good enough” to include in their “spectacular” lives.

But the old me wouldn’t have figured this out. I would’ve been happy if a HB 7 came calling at all, and would’ve done all I could do to make it work, even when she cheated on me years later because she’s bored.

The societal landscape has changed.

These are single women essentially acting like single men. And we as a society are okay with that.

But as we shun single men because they “refuse” to settle down or “grow up”, we celebrate single women as powerful because they don’t do that. We aren’t empowering females by encouraging them to act like males, we’re killing the woman that lies naturally within her, cutting off nourishment.

The consequences of such a paradigm shift are starting to show.

As we are seeing more and more, there’s buyer’s remorse from betas on their flighty wives, post wall women regretting they didn’t have kids or live the life of a woman, and lonely middle aged feminists looking for men to “man up, grow a pair” and take on them and their kids.

But like I said, there’s a new me in town.

I chose not to fall for the bull, and as with most things in the manosphere, knowledge is power, and she played right into obscurity.

Don’t Fall For It

The reason the manosphere talks so much about things like this is that they DO happen. And this is just another example of it. Knowing what to look for and how to avoid it can only help you achieve a level of awareness that will keep you focused when a girl of better attributes does enter your life.

However, the most disturbing thing about this is that, somewhere, at some point, some guy will take the bait and be stuck with this nightmare. And those are the men that I’m trying to reach everyday. They must not make this mistake, or they’re in for a world of hurt.

So as you’re working on your quality, be mindful that some girl you’ve approached or been intimate with is watching you and will be in touch again because you’re better than you were.

And without hesitation, please show this “Bandwagon Bitch” the door.

If she doesn’t like you when you’re at your worst, she doesn’t deserve you at your best.

Men In Dating

Photo Credit: Wall Street Journal

This is Part 3 of my “Men In” Series.

After my separation and eventual divorce in 2015 and 2016, I was in a new place. It had been a decade since I had managed any experience in the dating world, and as a horrible blue pilled plug-in, I had done online dating (eHarmony) to land the languished piece of crap I had just divorced myself from. I had zero experience with women, still, and had not attempted to unplug myself. So here I was, officially single again, with only blue pill basics to help me navigate the dating world. I was fucked. And not in the good way.

So what did I do? Well, I drifted. I dated little in the following months, actually meeting and dating a dominatrix 5 with BPD, a clingy six with daddy issues, and a one night stand with a decent 6. Essentially, the bottom of the barrel in terms of what I could, and knew I should, be able to pull. I thought this is what it was all about. It was all very pathetic.

Blue Pill men these days are in a similar predicament, not because it’s the true nature of the current dating scene, but it’s the inability of these men to see anything else. Being plugged in means accepting this “reality” as what it is, as it’s all they know. And it’s exactly what women want. Tinder and similar dating apps have become a tool for female hypergamy, weeding out the betas from the alphas. It’s just another screening process for women, only now, beta men are not only tolerating it, but their unending thirst is also putting women who shouldn’t be there on a pedestal. 4’s and 5’s who shouldn’t be getting a second look now have hundreds of beta orbiters.
So why is it this way?

It didn’t use to be. Before the advent of the right swipe, men were more than their thirst. They had a purpose, drive, and ambition, three things that are extremely sexually arousing to women. But men, especially the blue pill types, became lazy. Porn streams instantly to their finger tips, and now, they can peruse women without having to do the hard stuff, approaching and actually talking to a woman. Instead of continuing to pursue a full life, men sat back and let women fill the void, corrupting the online dating world in the process, turning it into just another shit test. And on top of that, men are programmed by the Feminine Imperative to believe that 8’s and 9’s are out of their league, so alas, they settle for being the head of the fan club of a solid 5-6, orbiting forever. How fucking depressing.

So how do I now navigate this dating world as a single, Red Pill father? I don’t. I dictate my own life, and let the dating world come to me. I have to do three things. I unplug. I improve, and I approach.

When you are a high value, high quality man, you will have your choice of women. But this comes with a serious caveat. You have to get to the high quality, high value parts first. This means working on three aspects of your game. And it’s not a road map either, you can and will need to do all three things at once. It’s not a set of directions, it’s a set of inflections.

Unplug

As we in the manosphere always preach, unplugging is a primary step in getting out of this wickedly depressing cycle. When a man unplugs, he sees the dating world for what it actually is, and realizes it’s about him. It’s about what he’ll tolerate. It’s about what he’ll accept. And when he realizes he doesn’t have to accept this bullshit, he then can move on to opening his world up to new avenues. When you say “no” to the current state of the dating world, you are now wresting control of your life from the FI and all its pitfalls. Until you’re truly unplugged, you cannot fulfill the preliminary part of your contract with yourself. Being true and honest to yourself will help you to be true and honest with others, so this, quite frankly, the biggest hurdle to hit first.

Improve

As the hard truths become apparent to you while being unplugged, you will have to realize these truths in your own life, and do something about them. Here are some of the hard red pill truths to the dating world:

  1. Looks matter.
  2. Confidence matters.
  3. Hypergamy doesn’t care.
  4. Women will not approach you.
  5. Nice guys finish last.
  6. Women want to be led, they don’t want to lead.
  7. You are your top priority, not getting a girlfriend.
  8. Being yourself doesn’t work. You must be a better version of yourself.

The last one is apropos for the dating world. Nothing tips the scales in your favor like being an attractive, successful, unabashed man. So get to work. Get to the gym, eat right, sleep fully, get your ambition going. You are the catalyst for all of your success. The waiting for success doesn’t get you there. You will slowly, steadily build confidence in your life, and it will affect every aspect of it. As you build, and you must build one brick at a time, and it will take time, you will become more than you are now. And this excites the shit out of women. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Approach

Yes, sir! The dreaded “a” word. After all of that work to get yourself to where you are, you still, even while you are striving to bring change to yourself, have to approach. You can choose several avenues. There’s daygaming, which is approaching during the day (office, street, shops, etc.) or gaming at night, which is the Mystery Method way of doing things (among many others). But even after he got the girl, Mystery still struggled with beta tendencies in his failed long term relationships. It’s about the man behind the game, and he must be strong.

The bottom line is: you have to work with what you’re comfortable with, however, you MUST APPROACH. And, gasp, you must open yourself up to consistent REJECTION. No matter how good you look, how successful you are, how amazing you are in bed, YOU WILL GET REJECTED. Swallow your pride, and do it. This is one of the hardest truths for a beta to swallow. They base their entire existence on being accepted by women, and after their first rejection, they fall out and want to plug back in. It’s a hard truth that MUST be learned. It was a truth that I still grapple with in certain situations to this day, and approach anxiety is very real. But the only way to overcome your fear is to do it, and keep doing it until it becomes second nature. There will be good days and bad, but keep swinging, studying, and analyzing, and you’ll get a hit, and maybe a home run. Before long, you’ll be a power hitter.

Conclusion

So, where do you go from here? It’s really up to you. I want to stress that you can meet plenty of women without online dating, the old fashioned way, by opening your life up to improvement and new experiences. The old adage of love yourself before you love another really applies here. Men need to start swiping right on their own lives, and not on a solid 5 with two kids. When men start taking responsibility for themselves, and righting the wrongs they’ve made in their life, women will start to take notice. As women’s Instagram and Tinder matches start drying up, they’ll soon realize that the jig is up. Men are back, stronger than ever, and making these thots extinct. But until then, we have to keep working to unplug one man at a time. It will take time, but it will be worth it.

So start looking inward to your own world, and making it yours. You never, ever, need a woman to be happy. A woman is a compliment to a full masculine life. Your goal has and always will be your happiness, and not being a woman’s accessory. You’re better than that. So life awaits, get out there and make something happen.