This Is Part 5 of my “Men In” Series
I’m up and at it this afternoon after an incredible conversation I had with my best friend of about 35 years last night.
We tend to have very thought provoking discussions as we drink craft beer and smoke cigars, while I hit on the servers and he texts his wife.
Last night, however, got my brain all fired up, as a question came up that I was able to answer, but just a few years ago I couldn’t.
The question was posed in the middle of a discussion we were having about men’s rights and it came out very abruptly.
“If you had all the money you would need, or want, and all the sudden you didn’t work anymore, what would you do? What would be your purpose?”
I’ve recently discovered several purposes for myself, so the question was easy. I want to help men unplug, I also want to broaden my horizons on the red pill. I want to get into better shape, I want to be a great father. I want to learn to be better at game, and I want to forge a new career path of my own choosing, instead of being chained to my current business for the rest of my life.
But when we got to my friend, he was quiet. He couldn’t think of anything that would fulfill his purpose. He has been working all his life to provide for his wife and kids, that if one day it was okay not to go in, they have enough money, he didn’t have an answer to what he would do with his life.
So, my readers, ask yourself the question, “What is your purpose?”
The Blue Pill Purpose
Men are corrupted by so many things in this world from birth to death. They are told what to do by many entities, and what drives them, especially in the early years, are their parents. If they’re lucky enough to have a two parent household, Dad will pass down his typical “you are your job” line and that hard work to provide is what he had done. Mom will pass down her lines of “provider” status for any man. He has to provide for his family.
If he’s in a single parent household, especially with a single mom, he’s then assigned to be the impromptu patriarch, (or worse, the mother tries to assume this role) which is a task he doesn’t need to do, nor deserve. So he’s chastened to do what he can, and more often than not this is met with disdain. And without a proper father figure, he’s left to find other figures to emulate, most of which were members of a single mother family themselves. The process continues unabated.
As they get older, females drive to press men into servitude toward their ends continues to ramp up. Men will sacrifice anything to sleep with their oneitis, and their purpose, hopes, and dreams will go to the trash heap just for a piece of ass. They then follow their love to the ends of the earth, after which she sleeps with the first Chad she meets.
So now, their career awaits. If they were like me, they chose a career that was semi-interesting, but more importantly, would be one that pays the bills. So they strive for middle management in a corporate environment, all while marrying their college sweetheart or the girl they met on Bumble, and as they have kids, the wife stays home while the man busts his ass to bring home the bacon. The wife has an insatiable appetite for a new home, or new carpet, or paint, or she wants to go back to school because her first go round she didn’t do what she REALLY wanted. And then, because he’s killing himself to pay for all of the shit she’s bought, she cheats on him because he’s “not there for her or doesn’t understand her feelings.”
So here he is, stuck in a life that was not of his own choosing. And all he does is serve the imperative. Sure, he may watch sports, porn, hang with his other blue pill buddies, catch some concerts, mow his grass, landscape his home with the inflated mortgage, get fat, lament about his lot in life, but what truly does he do for HIMSELF?
It’s depressing as hell, but unfortunately, it’s where a majority of men find themselves.
Grasping At Straws
So what do they do? Much of the time, men are tricked into thinking serving institutions will give them purpose, but these institutions only serve themselves and the feminine imperative. So blue pilled men think they’ve escaped, but instead, are right back to serving something that has no interest in their well being.
Many men will go the religious route, which is far from self serving. Religion has become corrupted and the church continues to devolve into yet another feminization tool to control men. The church, at one time long ago, had men’s best interest at heart, but now, it’s another push for men to do their duty, which is serving female’s best interest. It’s more now about how to be a good husband, how to serve your wife and family, and how NOT to rock the boat. “We certainly don’t want men thinking for themselves, now do we?”
So men will cling to different worlds, hoping to find something that will give them a sense of life, a sense of purpose. And they fail. Because they can’t see the forest from the trees. They cannot truly have their own purpose unless it serves a need from the Imperative. So they continue to be led astray.
The minute they decide to go off this path that the Imperative wants them on, they are mocked, derided, ridiculed, and shamed back into it.
Women never have men’s best interests at heart. It’s not in their nature.
It’s truly when he decides to unplug that the world becomes as he should have been seeing it.
So now, he’s unplugged.
It’s a rush of emotions. But now, he can truly fixate on his own life, his own purpose. It’s a clearing that many men have trouble overcoming, because, as in my case, I felt as if I wasted 3 decades of my life. There is despair, depression, and regret about the past, and many men won’t realize this is the only way to gain true clarity in their life, and they miss the boat for a few years.
The one thing that the red pill has afforded me is that clarity. I can now truly focus on what I want to do. Soul searching has been plentiful, but without the noise of a blue pill existence, it’s quiet, and it allows you to focus and explore who you really want to be.
There are, as in my friend’s case especially, exceptions. He and his wife have mutual goals, in a relationship built on complimentary relations, they work together. But she understands she must support him. His success is her success, and she and his ends line up. What’s very heartening about his situation is that, he’s free to explore his purpose, and his wife supports his quest wholeheartedly. It’s rare and needs to be commended.
A woman who puts her man’s purpose as her own, is a woman that truly loves and respects her man.
Quest For Yourself
So now what?
If you’re like me, you’re working towards your purpose. You have now dedicated your life to the drive toward this piece that defines your existence on this planet.
You will have to search for your purpose. You will have to dig deep, meditate, breathe, and look deep inside yourself.
You have something to give to this world, you just have to find it.
So, begin your quest, lads. It’s the most important mission you’ll ever undertake.
Find your purpose. Begin your journey.
This is Part 4 of my “Men In” Series
Today, as I type this, I stand at over $33,000 in debt.
How the hell did I get that way? Well, it’s one thing, mainly. My divorce.
One of the biggest reasons I’ve been against marriage is because of the financial disasters that befall men when they get divorced. Men are adversely affected because they tend to make more than women, and women, while wanting to be independent, want it both ways and become more dependent on the broken family law system to get them “what they deserve”, or “what they’ve become accustomed to”.
So I sit here today, trying to navigate a debt that was created simply because I was unhappy with my wife and I left her. So what the hell happened?
Folks, it’s no surprise that men have 3 times as much debt as women. Men bear the responsibility of having to be the breadwinner a lot of the time, and they take the lion’s share of the risk to their own credit. And women tend to come into the relationship with debts of their own, with an all too excited Beta ready to help her pay off her debts in exchange for sex. Now I know I’m generalizing, but the “Captain Save a Ho” mentality is alive and well when a Beta finally gets married to his oneitis.
When I first met my ex-wife, I had only a bit of credit card debt and a car payment. She came into the relationship with a fresh bankruptcy, student loan debt, and a car payment. We managed to pay off all her debt and my car, with much of the heavy lifting coming from me. Then the divorce hit.
As an owner of my own company, my ex was determined to get her share of it. Her rationale was that by being a stay at home mom watching the kids, she was entitled to a generous sum of my share of my family’s company. She had “helped me build it”. Family law is a harsh mistress when it comes to deciding who has to pay what, and while the man usually bears the brunt of this, I was lucky in that we were debt free and didn’t own any credit cards.
So, we had a large house to sell, but there existed a double-edged sword. My name was the only one on the house, so while she couldn’t claim it, I was solely responsible for the sale of it. With her past credit problems, she couldn’t get approved with me, so I bought the house myself. I had to take out a loan to upgrade the house to get it to sell because I decided I didn’t need a large house, and the monthly payments made it too tight at the end of the month. On top of that, I had to negotiate a settlement with my ex for my share of the company.
Add to that attorney’s fees and the regular weekly child support, and I was in debt over $50,000. All because I wanted a divorce.
Now, I subscribe to the idea that debt is slavery, and there are many who will disagree with my approach. But I believe that credit is a bad thing, and too many men get into trouble with money, even when they’re making a lot of it. Now there are some good things to talk about here. I haven’t had a credit card in over a decade. I haven’t had a car payment is 7 years. So there are some freedoms I can claim, however, it’s small consolation when you’re facing 5 digit debt, and six if you owe on your house.
Debt Is Slavery
Where ever you look today, debt is everywhere. Men can’t escape it and need some help. My own path may be of some help, for as I am currently in debt, I’ve managed to pay off over $17,000 in a little over a year. So how?
I write a lot about men needing to be in control of their lives, whether it be fitness, dating, raising children, or a career. Finances are just another thing men need to control because they can get out of hand very quickly, and if you’re undisciplined, just like in other aspects of your life, you’ll quickly find yourself in a very deep hole with a very small shovel.
So when you take control of your life, know that the number one thing that can help you get out of debt is your paycheck. But you have to keep track. Having a budget is a fantastic way that you can get control of your finances. When you know what you are spending, and how you are spending it, you have a better idea of where your money is going, and what you could be saving for. I look at my budget daily and have my month’s money spent already. Knowing what is coming up, as well as bigger expenditures that happen to be around, is so important for a man to maintain his control. I would also recommend Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, where he explains the 7 baby steps of financial freedom. While I follow Dave Ramsey’s philosophy a bit, I don’t subscribe to his religious undertones as much as other guys would, but it’s still worth your time to get that book.
Back on Track
As a man, you have several ways you can build your empire. One of the main ways is to afford a career you’ll love, that will make you a ton of money. I do work a job as a company owner, but also am branching out to do what I love, helping men. Getting your income up is the fastest way to destroy debt, and doing so also gives you the financial freedom to do the things you really want to do.
So what would I recommend? Cut up your credit cards and pay them off. Save a bit for an emergency. Get your debt down quickly. Start saving for retirement and kids college. Do it within the context of your current job, and also try to make money doing what you love, on the side at first.
One of the many benefits of taking control of your finances is the fact that not only do family and friends respect a man who has his financial house together, but you become more attractive to the opposite sex as well. But beware! Now that you’re in control, you can be much more selective when it comes to a woman you want to be with. Women can complicate your life in more ways than one, and getting one who doesn’t have her financial house in order is a recipe for disaster. When you build it with your own blood and sweat, you need to be more mindful of letting just anyone come in to your castle.
Empower Your Wallet
You can affect your own income by the very life selections you make. As a powerful man, you alone dictate what you will spend your money on, and how much of it you’ll earn. You can determine how to live your life, as a slave to a debtor, or as a bank giving out the loans. It’s all about choices. And just like getting into shape, it’s hard work. It’s long hours at a job you may not like while working towards what you want, it’s making choices for the long term instead of doing what feels good at the moment, it’s passing on that blonde 7 or 8 because she owes 15k in credit card debt and can’t stop spending other people’s money. In this case, short term sacrifice leads to long term flexibility, and makes you the boss in your own financial life.
Choose no debt, and you’ll have one less hindrance between you and a successful, fulfilling, masculine life.
This is Part 2 of my “Men In” series:
There she is. That girl you can’t get out of your head. Great body, long blond hair, great smile, blue eyes, nice tits, sweet personality, everything you ever wanted. She’s all you can think about. You haven’t asked her out yet, but you see her every day at work, or every week at the gym, or this month at your friend’s get together. She’s perfection to you. She can do no wrong.
She’s the girl of your dreams.
Congrats, you have what we in the Manosphere call “oneitis“, or an obsession with one particular girl, or what some in the beta male would would classify as love. It’s portrayed as a man’s reason for living, and most plugged in men continue to pursue this fantasy, sometimes even succeeding, then getting buyer’s remorse for not knowing the complexities of women.
As we are approaching the reprehensible holiday of Valentine’s Day, a holiday invented in the second century AD by the Christians to skirt Emperor Claudius Gothicus’s marriage decree, and now hijacked by corporations, the Church, the feminine imperative, and Hollywood to make men feel bad for not giving gifts, spending time, or spending money on their significant others, we continue see love being perverted for different gains. It’s been weaponized against men, through this wretched holiday, as well as through the lens of what the feminine imperative could squeeze from it.
It’s time to talk about men in love.
Why Do You Hate Love?
“Love”, for lack of a better term, is used far too often for too many situations these days. Love is supposed to be a catch all for strong emotions about something or somebody.
The general response to the above diatribe from women to me would be, “Anyone who hates Valentine’s Day or love hasn’t really ever been in love, or they have experienced a bad heartbreak.”
While I have indeed experienced bad heartbreak (as have many men), I loathe that anyone who says I don’t like the word “love” is implying that I’m harboring an internal grudge against it because of past incidents with girls who rejected or broke up with me. People are dying to connect these dots, because it supposedly invalidates my argument.
From personal experience, in my early days as an AFC beta, I celebrated Valentine’s Day. I thought I had to shower a girl with trinkets, gifts, and attention to validate my love for her. I quickly learned that this was a fruitless endeavor. I grew a bit wiser, and throughout my later relationships and up to my marriage, I seldom celebrated Valentine’s Day, and “love” was implied in my relationships. When I was married, my wife, at first, didn’t need proof of my feelings for her, but when the time came that she did need this proof (and the check almost always comes due at some point), I was already out the door. The way that I saw it was, if I had to prove my love to this woman, it ceased to be love, and was now a business transaction.
Men can only feel “love”, or what they think is “love”, because as a goal, logic, and task oriented species, men focus on a goal and look for a solution. That answer when dating is finding “true love”, or the ultimate solutions to a man’s “problem” of being single.
This is what a fem-centric society wants. Love, as with most things these days, has been hijacked by the feminine imperative not as a raw emotion, but as yet another filter to use for their hypergamic natures. When a man gets oneitis, more often that not, he might as well be holding a giant, imaginary sign that states, “Average Frustrated Chump.” Women avoid this like the plague, and when they see it, depending on the phase they’re in, not even Beta Bucks will help you.
Countless romantic movies show men falling for a woman, being the “nice guy”, and getting his oneitis. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how a fem-centric society wants to weed out the weak betas.
I don’t hate love, I hate what it’s being used for.
The Problem Of Love
For decades now, the manosphere has been accused of being misogynist, as well as decrying the values of love. I think I speak for most of the mainstream manosphere when I say, I “love” women. What do I mean?
Well, when I say love in the dating / relationship world, I should be saying:
-I enjoy the female form
-I enjoy the female company
-I enjoy sex with an attractive female, all the emotions and feelings I get from experiencing pleasure with the opposite sex
-I respect and appreciate everything a female has to offer
-I have an incredible admiration for all the amazing things females can do that men can’t
So, if you must call these things love, then I guess I can be called guilty for “loving” women.
The main problem with love is that it’s an emotion you can’t have without consequences.
Love precipitates in many forms, including good and bad, but all very legitimate. It’s one of the rawest emotions. It’s brutality and bliss. It’s decadence and danger. It’s volatility incarnate. It’s chaos. This is why it can be used very effectively by women, because as creatures of chaos, it’s in their very large wheelhouse.
No matter how the chips fall in the dating world, saying that word invokes strong emotions from females. It’s a game changer, and as many a man has found out (including yours truly), saying that word too quickly in a relationship spells the end of said relationship. You can’t say it until she does, and even then the feeling may not be mutual. She’s always got something else on her mind, and it’s probably not you. Unless you have an understanding about the general nature of women, as well as their feelings on love, you don’t have the knowledge of the dynamics involved. The red pill alleviates many of these pitfalls.
The Responsibility of Love
Love is not harmless. It’s not a fleeting emotion. It’s a big deal, and it can get men into a lot of trouble. When men love, there are many caveats attached to this love, including financial, emotional, and physical support of their woman. This is how society expects men to show their love. Women certainly don’t need this love, as they are capable of supporting themselves, but throughout early to dawn of the 20th century history, the man has been the bedrock of a relationship, creating the “bubble” which the woman had operated in.
Then, with the advent of the Sexual Revolution of the 1960’s, women awoke to a new day where they controlled the dynamic, and they have not wrested control of it. They were the bubble, they made the decisions, they played the part. The sexual strategies being employed to this day developed in the past 50 years, and continue to evolve.
This is how society has been built. Love no longer represents a harmless feeling, it’s very real, and if men aren’t prepared, can be damaging beyond belief. It also represents a huge financial windfall for anyone wanting to make money off of it’s effects, from businesses marketing products, to family law, to state and federal governments, to churches, love’s for sale. And if you choose not to play the game of love? You’re a misogynist who’s been wronged far too many times by women. Shame, guilt, and ridicule await you.
I don’t condone hating love. My job is to make men aware of what it entails, what it stands for, and what it really means to be in love. Love was sold as a good thing, suspending men in the good life, being happy, having sex, everything you were told it was about.
However, love is no longer a fruitless emotion, it is a responsibility. And when presented like that, it’s not all roses and silk sheets. I’m here to tell you that it’s not.
As many wise men have stated, one cannot fully embrace the love of another without first securing the love of oneself.
One of the biggest adjustments of being red pill aware is not only the cynicism of love, but also the promise of how love can truly be fulfilled. One thing that red pill knowledge has afforded me is the ability to realize more amazing relationships. When you know what I know, you can approach love and relationships with logic, and still revel in the joys, feelings, and sensations of it.
Love is like fire. It can be controlled, harnessed for good, but only after you know how to deal with it properly. So educate yourself, so you can truly love again.
This is Part 1 of my “Men In” series:
“He’s Going to Pay for What He Did To Me.”
|Photo Credit: Hulu – Masters of the Universe – Mattel|
As I write this today, I think back to when I was a blue-pilled, weak willed beta. It was a miserable time for me, but at that particular moment in my life, I had no clue I was miserable.
Being plugged in as I was, completely immersed in a world that I thought I had created, I had no idea what empowerment was. My ex-wife had the power, as well as dominating female relatives who, through no fault of their own, propagated a fem-centric male role for me, where I drifted day to day in a role of what I was told I was supposed to be in. As a blue pill beta, I was told this was the pinnacle of life for me (kids, wife, job, expensive house). It was very depressing.
What’s important to remember here is I was responsible for my blue pill conditioning. I was. I allowed myself to be taken advantage of by willing participants, whether they were complicit or not, and refused to take responsibility for my own life. This happens to many blue pill betas, they are ghosts in their own life, never making a decision to live for themselves, merely another gear in the machine.
Through therapy and my own research, I decided to learn more about what it means to be a blue pill beta, still hooked in, and decided to do something about it. What’s funny is that most betas will be exposed to Red Pill Theory and scoff at it, not take it seriously, and ignore it. While providing the information is really all RPT gurus can do, it’s only when the beta decides to take the step to unplug that change can truly happen. So, you have self-empowerment.
In the months following my divorce, my blue pill conditioning seldom wavered. I had not changed, and the women I dated simply saw an opportunity to grab up a brain dead beta who wasn’t empowering himself, but I was simply floating down waiting for someone to come in my life to make it better.
And this is one of the largest fallacies with blue pill conditioning:
It’s not the fault of everyone else, it’s yours. You are responsible for your own life.
When going through Red Pill Detox, most betas will blame their surroundings on their circumstances, and this is a natural reaction to being unplugged. I experienced this, becoming MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and shutting what I thought was external toxicity in the form of over-bearing siblings, parents, ex-partners, friends, and co-workers. I had one last blue pill hurrah with a feminist and was dumped because I was too beta. A feminist dumping me because I was too beta? Good God, I was a mess.
I went ghost (which I do recommend at some point in your life for self-reflection – another post :)) and moved on with my life. After two months of intense study of literature and self-reflection, I realized it wasn’t my environment or the folks around me, it was me…period.
My life is what I make it. If I choose to live under the thumb of the Feminine Imperative as a cuck beta, regardless of how twisted and unfair the environment where I’m raised is, it’s on me. Now, the information needs to be more readily available for blue pills to educate themselves, but it’s not like the FI has a monopoly on information. Great RP authors, speakers, educators, and theorists exist and are at your disposal. The last step you have to take, as will everything else you will encounter in your life, is yours.
So after my MGTOW phase (and that’s all it ever should be, a phase), I continued to study and learn more about my ongoing unplugging. Little did I know, I was empowering myself. Slowly and steadily, I was taking back control of my life. The first step was setting boundaries. I had lines I would not allow anyone to cross, and when they did, it was only a short time until they were out of my life, or had very little influence in it.
The second step was enforcing those boundaries, all while creating new ones. As each new border was created, new people would enter my life, while ones who didn’t like this new me left. A paradigm shift was occurring, and as in The Matrix, I could finally see it. I could finally see the whole playing field, the stands, the sky, the other players, all of it.
Clarity in one’s life comes at a price, and that price is comfort.
It was not a comfortable time. Friends and family were questioning me, making my unplugging more and more uncomfortable. Unplugging is tough, because not only do you know the truth, you live it. You see people for who they really are, who they really support, and who was rooting for you versus who wanted what you could provide as a blue pill.
I continue to this day to continue empowering myself. I make no excuses for who I am, what I represent, and what I believe. This is true empowerment. But it’s my life and it’s on my terms, and what could be more empowering that having control of your own destiny?