Personal Responsibility

Credit:  New York Post
As I sit down to write this blog post, several things in my life are getting me thinking about personal responsibility, a concept I whole-heartedly support for everyone.  I consider myself very conservative, and one man’s life is entirely in his hands, and his actions or lack thereof can directly affect his lot in life.  Maturity is essential when a person accepts those situations where they have no control, and makes the most of the situations that they do.
So as a single father, business owner, and Red Pill aware male, personal responsibility is the cornerstone of my belief system.  I am responsible for two children, a business, my employees, a household, and my own person.  Needless to say, I could not attribute my success to anything but hard work, foresight, tireless planning, and self-discipline.  But I wasn’t always this way…
There are some of you out there reading this that have had a rough go and blame your lot in life on outside forces.  Some mysterious force, out of your control, that continues to deny you of what is rightfully yours, holding you back against your inevitable triumph.  This is all bullshit.
There’s been an incredibly disturbing trend in modern Western society where victim hood has become all the rage.  With nanny state governments, victim hood peddlers, and virtue signalers becoming more and more commonplace, the personal responsibility mantra has taken a hit.  No one wants to be responsible, because it implies consequences.  Fear and consequences are the biggest obstacles to overcome, because some humans (while debatable, yes) are naturally inclined to avoid conflict.  No one wants to be at the target when the shit hits, and it’s becoming more and more acceptable to back down. 
You become a better person when the buck stops with you.
I don’t take this responsibility lightly.  People count on me everyday.  My kids depend on me to hold a job, provide food, shelter, clothing, school supplies, and all other necessities needed to grow up in a stable environment.  My employees depend on my expertise, resolve, decision making, and ability to lead to maintain the business so they can provide for their families and live a good life.  They depend on me to do my job so they may earn a livelihood.  My household depends on me to maintain cleanliness, upkeep, and repair.  My own person needs a good diet, exercise, and sleep.  
Personal responsibility is an important first step in the foundation of a greater life.  As you build, more things are drawn to you, you become more successful, you become more reliable, and you will accomplish more of what you want.  Also, when your starting out in your career, having reliability and self discipline (on time, work smart, dependability, ambition) will get you far, and these traits are the basis of a good personal responsibility belief.  
When dating, this responsibility manifests itself into a good physique and confidence to attract, as well as solid personal beliefs that don’t sway when confronted with women who engage emotionally.  
This belief system will be a natural filter for woman whom don’t fit your views, and will add to the effectiveness of “spinning plates” (h/t Rollo Tomassi) when you are dating many different types of women.  Don’t be the beta loser, contemplating your lot in life instead of getting off your ass and making things happen.  You’ll see your prospects dwindle with this outlook.
When in a LTR (Long term relationship), your own personal responsibility allows you to take on the natural gender role of leader, putting any relationship roles the woman doesn’t need to take to rest.  You are the man, act like it.  With a solid foundation of you taking care of you, everything will build off of that, and your relationship will be much stronger (and last longer, if you desire) with your self-reliance and personal responsibility leading the way. 
When you take responsibility for your actions, words, and desires, you will inevitably piss off people.  This is a fear most have as the desire for inclusiveness and acceptance is a human mantra that’s existed for many millennia.   But you can still have those things, as a natural belief in yourself, your thoughts, your dreams, and your actions, will piss off the RIGHT people.  If people are turned off by your persona and beliefs, they will go away, and those people that compliment your existence will be attracted to you.  
So where to start?  Start with you.  Stand up for your beliefs, even in the face of criticism.  Stop apologizing for your views.  Own it.  People will garner much more respect for you when you own your beliefs, your actions, and your words.  But be prepared.  Folks will be critical, they will ridicule, sometimes, as my anonymous brothers have found out,  there will be threats of physical violence.  But stand tall against the fierce wind.  Your beliefs will always be yours, and no one can take that from you. 

Panem et Circenses

Juvenal – Roman satirical poet
In Satire X, Juvenal laments about the days past of a strong, united Rome that took it’s civic duties seriously, fought for the empire, and represented the strength of their conquests.   Roman men fought in wars to expand their empire, participated in government, and gave all other civilizations pause as to the impressiveness of the Roman civilian / soldier / governmental representative.  
It was a time when honor, strength, and abilities of it’s subjects made Rome the greatest empire in history.  In fact, one of this blogger’s most admired men, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus, a legendary figure who at one time abdicated absolute power, was a symbol of Roman manliness and virtue.  I recommend reading up on him…for there’s a reason a city in the US was named after him.
When Juvenal wrote about “bread and circuses” in the early days of the early 100’s A.D., he was in the midst of a period of incredible stability.  The period was known as “The Five Good Emperors”, was the longest, uninterrupted peace in the Roman Empire.  In fact, when Juvenal wrote Satire X, Trajan was just beginning the expansion of the Roman Empire to it’s largest extent, from Spain to the Arabian Sea.  
So what are “bread and circuses”?  It was a saying developed by Juvenal to describe the declining Roman citizen.  After years of taking up arms, the Romans had let others fight their wars, enslaved all they conquered, and had resorted to a life of sloth, greed, crapulence, and laziness.  They did not take pleasure in ruling, they took pleasures in eating, drinking, socializing, and enjoying their spoils.  Thus, the “bread and circuses” distinction was one of the Romans becoming mindless sheep, only interested in drinking, sexual experimentation, and who won the latest race at the Circus Maximus.  
So why do I do a blog about this topic?  What does this have to do with being Red Pill aware?
The term “plugged in” was obviously from The Matrix, a movie with so many comparisons to Ancient Rome.  We are in a plugged in environment, with social media dominating us everyday, our need to get validation from total strangers continues to grow.  We actually get a dopamine high from someone liking our posts, and just like a drug, we continue to post hoping that next comment, retweet, or like will go viral, making us popular with the human race.
As a blue pilled beta, my life was dominated by social media.  I followed thots (those hoes over there) on Instagram, hoping that my one comment would get their attention and they would DM me.  I posted on Facebook hoping for validation of my feelings, my aspirations, my desires.  I posted on Twitter and started internet fights with complete strangers, hoping someone would validate me and my opinion.
My screen time on social media as a blue pill exceeded 4 hours a day.  Always worried about who would like my post, always screening any notifications that someone liked my post.  I was a sheep.  I was more plugged in than I had ever been.

So if you’re immersed in the world of social media and not focusing on yourself, your goals, your dreams, and your ambition, you’re in effect enjoying “bread and circuses”.

You’re watching all the life around you while not working on yourself.  You’re sheep.

Source:  Gizmodo Australia

CUT IT OFF

So what to do? You cut if off.  I decided to distance myself from social media.  I deleted all apps.  I went dark on all platforms for almost 3 months.  It became necessary to focus all of my attention on myself.  I needed validation, but from me.  I became more self aware of what destructive habits I was involved in online.  I unfollowed the thots, some of whom wondered where I went.  
“Why aren’t you following me anymore?”  one asked.  
“Because, I need to follow myself.” I stated bluntly.
I didn’t need to waste time validating others or trying to validate myself in their eyes.

So, do it.  Uninstall Facebook, Instagram, Twitter…everything.  Until you are ready to use it in a manner that doesn’t require you to check it every 10 seconds for validation, it should be gone.  Don’t explain it to anyone either.  Say, “I needed my life back.”

So what were the results of this self imposed exile on social media?
I began to discover that the world around me was more than just fleeting internet dopamine gains.
I went to the gym, I read, I discovered.  I talked to people.  I hit on girls, I dated, I had amazing sex.
In short, I was living the life I was trying to portray to complete strangers on social media, except I wasn’t sharing it with any of them. 
After I had cut off social media, I wasn’t in any hurry to get back and show off my new life.  The only reasons, I figured, to get back on social media was to make money, help others, and teach men about what I had went through.  So I made a plan for when I actually got back on, and I haven’t wavered from it.  
I strongly recommend giving up social media to focus on yourself.  It will be tough, as those who relied on you to be their validation will come calling, wondering where you went.  And when they do, just say one thing.  
“I got a life.”

Dear Younger Self

Recently on my twitter feed, I had the opportunity to do a quick top ten list of things I would tell my younger self.  I was so proud of it, I have to post it here as well.  
While it doesn’t necessarily cover everything I would say, these points of emphasis are very important to not only older men going through a life reset, but also younger men in need of guidance.

And, also, unofficially,  the last bit of advice I can give, is LEARN.  Be willing to learn.  Don’t ever miss an opportunity to learn from those that have been there before you.  I continue to learn from all sorts of sources, and I won’t stop.  Absorb.  Grow.  Be the best man you can be.

Faith In Yourself

I sat up in bed, on a cold, snowy February night.  I had been unable to sleep for some time, tossing and turning in a sweaty mess.  It had to be tonight.  I couldn’t go on.  It was pitch black in the bedroom.  I turned on my night stand lamp.  My mouth dried as I tried to summon up enough saliva to begin talking.  This was going to be tough.
I was about to make the biggest decision of my life.  One that would change not only my life, but the lives of my kids.  I looked over and saw my wife sleeping.  It was time.  
“Hey, wake up.” I impatiently chortled.
“What do you want?” she sleepily asked.
“I’m done.  I done with all of this.  I want a divorce.” I said showing no emotion.
She gasped.  The blankets shuffled rapidly.
“What the hell do you mean?” she angrily asked.
“I said, I’m done.  I’ve had enough.  I need out of this marriage,” I said.
Questions followed.  Why?  How?  
Then the anger.  “I knew you’d do this.  I’m so angry at you.  Let’s just give up on marriage.  You’re hurting our children!  I should’ve left you long ago.  I’m not happy either.  You’re fucking selfish.”
Eventually, their came the inevitable bargaining and desperation.  “We need to go to counseling.”
But it was too late.   
I had really made the decision some 6 months ago, in a psychologist’s office.  I had been going to therapy for over a year.  I knew my life wasn’t going to get any better as a married man.  I needed to forge my own path.  I had never discovered who I was, only what I had to do in order to “be happy”.
Get married.  Have kids.  Get a good job that pays a lot.  Happiness will just come.  
Wrong.  
This is not correct.  
It took a decade for me to figure it out. 
So here I was, at the precipice of my own life, a life I had lived for everyone but myself. 
When you own misery in your marriage outweighs your fear of being alone (a fear that was completely unfounded, thanks red pill), you tend to take on a fight or flight mentality.  I flew.  
I had no idea what I was doing.  I hadn’t been single for a decade, and even then, I was a fresh faced beta male who was terrible with women.  And on top of all of this, I had two kids.  But I was determined to move forward.  Nothing could be worse than being unhappy in a loveless marriage.  
Dark times followed.  Divorce is not kind, especially to men.  It took a tremendous amount of money, time, and pain to take this path.  Being a single dad is horrible especially when everyone including the state is against you.  There are many laws that are completely unfair to divorced men, especially fathers who want to take care of their kids.  Deadbeat dads are a terrible problem, but when women have the overwhelming power of the state to debilitate a father on their word alone, men fear not only for their financial freedom, but the custody of their kids is at stake.
I was lucky.  I had an ex-wife who was willing to work with me as an adult.  It wasn’t easy, nor was it cheap.  Houses to fix up and sell, trying not to disrupt the lives of my kids.  This particular path was difficult, but not as bad as others that have traveled.

In that time, the thing that kept me going was the fact that I could do this.  I had faith in myself.  I had never experienced such a feeling when I was plugged in.  The system was set up for me to be a beta.  I had never been concerned with my own happiness, but the happiness of others.  And this is a recipe for failure.

So what did I learn?  I realized what red pills already know.

You are what stands between the live that’s chosen for you versus the life you choose.  As a red pill male, you have tremendous power over your own life.  That is the key to it all.  When you choose yourself over everything else, the gravitational forces shift from going away from you to coming toward you.

The best advice I can give to men going through this process is that through it all, you must have faith in yourself.  This provides you with a suit of armor that protects you from a cruel, unforgiving process that is divorce.  Regardless of your situation, self-empowerment can only help you navigate the new world.  Not only will you be better off, your kids will have more respect for someone who has not only fought for them, but more respect for someone who has fought for himself.


Empowerment

Photo Credit:  Hulu – Masters of the Universe – Mattel

As I write this today, I think back to when I was a blue-pilled, weak willed beta.  It was a miserable time for me, but at that particular moment in my life, I had no clue I was miserable.

Being plugged in as I was, completely immersed in a world that I thought I had created, I had no idea what empowerment was.  My ex-wife had the power, as well as dominating female relatives who, through no fault of their own, propagated a fem-centric male role for me, where I drifted day to day in a role of what I was told I was supposed to be in.  As a blue pill beta, I was told this was the pinnacle of life for me (kids, wife, job, expensive house).  It was very depressing.

What’s important to remember here is I was responsible for my blue pill conditioning.  I was.  I allowed myself to be taken advantage of by willing participants, whether they were complicit or not, and refused to take responsibility for my own life.  This happens to many blue pill betas, they are ghosts in their own life, never making a decision to live for themselves, merely another gear in the machine. 

Through therapy and my own research, I decided to learn more about what it means to be a blue pill beta, still hooked in, and decided to do something about it.  What’s funny is that most betas will be exposed to Red Pill Theory and scoff at it, not take it seriously, and ignore it.  While providing the information is really all RPT gurus can do, it’s only when the beta decides to take the step to unplug that change can truly happen.  So, you have self-empowerment.

In the months following my divorce,  my blue pill conditioning seldom wavered.  I had not changed, and the women I dated simply saw an opportunity to grab up a brain dead beta who wasn’t empowering himself, but I was simply floating down waiting for someone to come in my life to make it better.

And this is one of the largest fallacies with blue pill conditioning:
 
It’s not the fault of everyone else, it’s yours.  You are responsible for your own life. 

When going through Red Pill Detox, most betas will blame their surroundings on their circumstances, and this is a natural reaction to being unplugged.  I experienced this, becoming MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and shutting what I thought was external toxicity in the form of over-bearing siblings, parents, ex-partners, friends, and co-workers.  I had one last blue pill hurrah with a feminist and was dumped because I was too beta.  A feminist dumping me because I was too beta?  Good God, I was a mess.

I went ghost (which I do recommend at some point in your life for self-reflection – another post :)) and moved on with my life.  After two months of intense study of literature and self-reflection, I realized it wasn’t my environment or the folks around me, it was me…period.

My life is what I make it.  If I choose to live under the thumb of the Feminine Imperative as a cuck beta, regardless of how twisted and unfair the environment where I’m raised is, it’s on me.  Now, the information needs to be more readily available for blue pills to educate themselves, but it’s not like the FI has a monopoly on information.  Great RP authors, speakers, educators, and theorists exist and are at your disposal.  The last step you have to take, as will everything else you will encounter in your life, is yours.

So after my MGTOW phase (and that’s all it ever should be, a phase), I continued to study and learn more about my ongoing unplugging.  Little did I know, I was empowering myself.  Slowly and steadily, I was taking back control of my life.  The first step was setting boundaries.  I had lines I would not allow anyone to cross, and when they did, it was only a short time until they were out of my life, or had very little influence in it.

The second step was enforcing those boundaries, all while creating new ones.  As each new border was created, new people would enter my life, while ones who didn’t like this new me left.  A paradigm shift was occurring, and as in The Matrix, I could finally see it.  I could finally see the whole playing field, the stands, the sky, the other players, all of it.

Clarity in one’s life comes at a price, and that price is comfort.  

It was not a comfortable time.  Friends and family were questioning me, making my unplugging more and more uncomfortable.  Unplugging is tough, because not only do you know the truth, you live it.   You see people for who they really are, who they really support, and who was rooting for you versus who wanted what you could provide as a blue pill.

I continue to this day to continue empowering myself.  I make no excuses for who I am, what I represent, and what I believe.  This is true empowerment.  But it’s my life and it’s on my terms, and what could be more empowering that having control of your own destiny?

Red Pill Therapy

Photo Credit:  voirelia.com
I can honestly say that I have been seeing a psychologist for the better part of 4 years.  And I don’t regret any of it.  Because it helped get me to the red pill version of me that’s manifesting itself currently.
As a blue pill beta some 5 years ago, I was toiling away in a loveless marriage.  My job was extremely stressful, and was becoming more and more a source of some anger issues.  My wife at the time was a stay at home mom with no motivation to do anything.  As soon as I would finish my shift at work (would sometimes have to work later), I would get her list of demands.  She had no outside interests, no friends, nothing but raising our kids. Thus, life for me was turning into a soul sucking spiral of depression, hurt feelings, missed opportunities, and growing frustration.
This frustration with a life decided by everyone but me overflowed one day at work.  I snapped.  I flew off the handle.  I yelled at my bosses for their constant abuse towards me.  It wasn’t pretty at all. I was sent home with the caveat that either I must go to therapy to solve my issues, or lose my job.
With two kids and a wife to support, I chose the former.  
My first day on the couch was a bit nerve-racking.   I didn’t know why I was there.  I had always assumed therapy was not for me, people would talk.  My blue pill mind was always afraid if someone saw me there what they would think.  I nervously waited for my appointment.
As the door opened and I got started, I quickly realized that it was in the best interests of my emerging red pill self to go to therapy.   As I spoke, it was finally dawning on me that all the problems I had were coming from me, not the environments around me.  I had to change myself, adjust to this new reality, and come to terms with it.  
For over a year, I had bitter truths to swallow every session.  From overprotective members of my family, to my domineering wife, it covered the gambit.  But none of it, none, had to do with my job.  I didn’t take anything out on anyone, didn’t have a release, so I blew.  It happens every time.
Photo credit:  avoiceformen.com

Struggle & Epiphany

 As the weeks and months passed, I slowly learned that what was affecting me was my loveless marriage, and not my job.  It was my blue pill beta shining through in many different forms, and I needed to correct it stat.
After a year of therapy, my therapist concluded in a short session ending sentence, “You know what the problem is, so you need to make a decision.”  This decision would affect my entire life, the lives of my children, it would be a major course correction 10 years in the making.  So, one cold February night, I told my wife I wanted a divorce.  With that, my life was changed forever.
I will talk more about my subsequent divorce and proceedings next week, but for right now, I want to talk about what this “red pill” therapy means.  My therapist was most interested in bringing out the real red pill man secluded in his blue pill life.  “Your top priority,” he said, “is you.”  “You can’t begin to do anything with this life until you realize that you, and only you, are the key to your own happiness.”
These words stuck with me, even as we dove in to my numerous problems.  I had not carefully crafted a life for myself, I was living someone else’s life.  My parents, wife, etc, had influenced me to a point that I had no say in my own life.  I had no personal boundaries.  That was the first thing we had to accomplish.  I needed to put down boundaries.
When you start putting down boundaries, you start seeing who has your best interests at hand.  Soon, people who had been controlling me were put off.  I had stood my ground, and drew a line in the sand.  This is my boundary.  I started setting more boundaries.  I started enforcing them.  As I was doing this, I noticed people who wanted me to succeed started multiplying, while those who refused to accept this better version of myself, fell by the way side.  
It took therapy for me to realize that red pill realization was even possible, as my therapist technically gave me the red pill before anyone else.  He saved my life, just as other Red Pill authors and experts have helped me to gain perspective and continue my red pill transformation.
I can’t recommend therapy enough, however, make sure it’s red pill therapy.  Any religious based therapist will no doubt try to save the marriage, even if it’s doomed to fail.  Check references, make sure the therapist is licensed and has a degree (mine had one in psychology proudly displayed).  See your therapist for an initial meeting, get a feel for him/her, and have clear objectives into what you want.  
See a couple at first to get an idea who you jive with better.  But they must be willing to help you, not your situation.  Their first and only objective should be to help you become a better, happier person, giving you guidelines, reading materials, assignments or homework.  Also, as many of my red pill colleagues have states, keep a journal.  Write it down.  Your feelings will become all the more clearer on paper, and I can’t tell you how much it helped me.
More next week.

Hypergamy

Photo credit:  The Modern Man

Recently, I’ve seen quite a few posts on SoSuave and other manosphere forums about Hypergamy and how important a role it plays in our current dating atmosphere in 2018.

Hypergamy, as it’s definition states, is “the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class.”
However, in using it with respect to today’s Western civilization terms, it is an innate, involuntary response by females to seek out a mate of high quality.   Most of the time, depending on her sexual market value and where she is in that process, she’ll either fall for the alpha male, or the best beta male she can get.

While this can be a daunting situation to deal with, for the beta male, it is insurmountable.  With a beta male’s lack of confidence, lack of leadership, lack of masculinity, hypergamy takes no prisoners.  Many a beta has seen his hopes dashed after a quick bout of oneitis has manifested itself, then turned into anger and frustration after his precious lady has jumped on an alpha’s cock.  After all, Hypergamy doesn’t care

So what is one to do?  Many of the posts I’ve seen put hypergamy into an all powerful, unassailable obstacle.  This drives men to claim they have no control over the effects of hypergamy, leading them down the path of incels, looksmaxing, and general misogyny.

So how can men react to this evolutionary ideal?  By bettering themselves.

Look, I can’t give you a silver bullet.  Women are driven by finding the best male they can.  No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone better than you.

But, using self enrichment, you can become the best version of yourself, thereby increasing your chances with hotter and hotter women.  Find a hobby.  Focus on your career.  WORK OUT.  Read.  Learn.  When you have knowledge, you gain confidence.  Women will start to take notice of your newest advantages.  And suddenly, a woman in your life will not be the most important thing, just another benefit of your new outlook.

It works.  Experience for me is the greatest teacher.  Last year, I dated a girl for about 3 months and was a complete beta.  She dumped me, and it was then I decided to work on me, find myself, learn, grow.  Now, with this new found confidence, improved physique, and knowledge I’ve afforded myself, the attraction from other women is real.

Do this.  It’s not a woman’s fault if she’s not attracted to you.  It’s yours.  Get off your ass and get to work. 

My extensive knowledge of this subject comes from Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male.  He is the best authority I know for matters of the man.  Check out his blog and also read his books

Becoming the Red Pill Dad

During my divorce, my life spun out of control.  As always with divorce, there are severe financial ramifications, as well as pressure to move forward and get life as quickly back to normal as possible.

There are kids involved, so I took the path that I knew would be best for me.  My ex and I avoided the courts, opting for mediation instead of dueling lawyers.  Through great financial strain, I managed to counter every thrust my ex through at me, and we decided amicably to finalize monetary settlements.  I arranged to pay everything for my kids, providing all finances for them, while leaving my ex-wife with a very small sum for official child support.

I wanted to make sure that this divorce was on my terms, and it was.

So after a rough patch, I decided to do Spartan races.  While all of this was going on, my divorce was being finalized, I decided to get into shape.  I went to the gym a ton to reduce stress, and signed up for Spartan.  I had never done OCR (Obstacle Course Races) before, and with everything going on in
my life, it was a chance to prove to myself I could do it, as well as meet fit chicks I could ask out.

As I did each race, I struggled with finding out what my life was all about, who I was.  I still didn’t know.  But during one race in southwest Ohio, I lost track of my team.  I was alone, in the middle of a muddy mess, with 10 more miles to go and daylight fading quickly.  I found out a lot about myself in that race.  I found out what I was made of.  I didn’t quit (even though I wanted to).  I fought until the end, and found my team waiting for me.  I had done it.  I didn’t think I was capable, but my confidence skyrocketed.  

But the Beta still lurked….

After my divorce, dating became the same as before I started, however, this time, I managed to meet more girls and have more sex.  Of the 10 plus girls I dated in this phase, I slept with 5 of them, 2 were one night stands.  Most of these were single moms whom I had nothing in common with, but we both filled a need.  It wasn’t very fulfilling. 

I was still in the Beta mindset, as I figured I needed to jump right back into the LTR (long term relationship) phase.  I was stupid.  I was still naive.  Enter a woman named Tiffany….

I met Tiffany through OLD (online dating).  She was about 5 years younger than me, had never been married, was a professional, and seemed to be everything I was looking for.  I was the consummate Beta throughout our 3 month relationship.  Frame was abandoned almost immediately, as I was pushing for another relationship.  I liked this girl.  I had oneitis.  I abandoned everything about me to make it about her.  I was pathetic.

All was going well, then one night late last July, she called me to dump me.  I didn’t know why.  Why did she dump me?  I wasn’t as hurt as I was confused.  After about a month of questioning myself, I decided (with help from my psychologist) to follow a path of self discovery.  It was time to learn who I was, become a better version of myself, and unleash that person on the world.

I read.  A lot.  I studied.  I discovered Rollo Tomassi and the Rational Male.  I read Robert Greene.  I read Alan Roger Currie.  I read The Game by Neil Strauss.  I watched Youtube, I subscribed to blogs.  It was time to become the real me.

I soon became Red Pill aware.  I was finally becoming informed as to why I had failed all those years with women.  All of the sudden, it became clear to me that my success hinged on me.  My attitude.  My work.  My point of view.

While studying, I spent the winter and early spring at the gym.  Improving myself.  All the while, I would try the techniques suggested in the books.  I was getting dates.  I continued to study.  The game had not become about scoring with girls (although that was going to be a great perk), but about becoming a new man.  Becoming the best version of myself.  I was winning in my life for the first time ever.

I was scorned by close friends and family members.  I had changed.  This wasn’t the man they knew.  That’s how I knew it was working.  They had steered me for all of my life, but now I was in charge of me.  They had no say.  I was the master of my own destiny.  And that was the greatest power I could ask for. 

A little over a year after unplugging, I have seen a tremendous improvement in my life.  I recently met a beautiful girl whom I would have never been able to go up to and ask out.  But because I was a quality man, she came up to me.  She saw my confidence.  And throughout this process, I have maintained frame.  I am still on a journey of self discovery.  But meeting this girl has taught me to be the best version of me I can be, and she really likes me for it.  I’m not pretending anymore, I am genuine.  And women notice.

As I type this, I look back at all the times I pined for girlfriend, I complained I didn’t have anyone, I put myself down because I couldn’t attract hot women.  But, even though it took years to overcome, I now see this side of the Red Pill.  I now see that self improvement is the bedrock of confidence in oneself, and I can’t thank those enough whom I read to become Red Pill aware.

So, I have decided to try to help those who were like me, especially those with kids, to become Red Pill aware.  I want to reach out and help those guys who struggle daily with themselves.  I want to be a beacon in the darkness that is the Feminine Imperative.  You’re not alone, guys.  Let me shine a light into your world.

I am the Red Pill Dad.

A Beta Life

I’ve lived most of my life as a Beta, or AFC (Average Frustrated Chump).

Weak willed, I developed one-itis on every occasion a woman struck my fancy.  In high school and through college, I was smitten with one girl whom I hoped would someday say yes to me, and we could live happily ever after.  After her fucking two of my close friends, I kept myself up wondering:

“Why couldn’t this girl like me?  I was so nice to her, I did everything she asked, I was always available to talk.”

“This was how I was told it was supposed to be.  Everyone told me this.”

One day, after all the stress to myself, I snapped.  I blew up at her.  She had LJBF’d (Let Just Be Friends) me so many times, I couldn’t handle it.  Needless to say, we stopped talking and the friendship ended.

This set the tone for my life.  Same story.  Girls would friend-zone me after I would not declare my intentions, I would stew about it while she fucked my friends, then I would blow up at her.  Rinse, repeat.

In late 2003, I met my ex-wife.  I was so ensconced in my Beta male life, I had to go to on-line dating.  I thought everyday about having a girlfriend.  I thought this was the apex of my life, why I lived.  And the worst part of it was, I was just beginning to come out of my shell (finally) and see some Red Pill truths, but just as I was, I was pulled back down.

I lost my virginity at 27 to my ex-wife.  I had finally gotten laid.  I had finally found my soulmate.

For 10 years, I lived in Beta male bliss.  Sex with my ex-wife diminished to the point that she allowed me to purchase porn movies and subscriptions.  I had two kids with her, and lived my life as if this was how it was supposed to be.  AFC style.  I had it down.

Then a few years ago, I made a fateful decision.  After attending therapy for some anger issues (AFC anger), I had an epiphany.  I was unhappy in my marriage.  I should be having sex, I shouldn’t just be the guy who brings home the check, kisses his wife on the cheek, and gets busy on the “Honey do” list.  So after this revelation, I sat up in bed one very cold winter evening, and told my ex-wife, “It’s over.  I want a divorce.”

She was speechless.  At first, she was desperate.  She saw her meal ticket flying away.  I had helped her pay off her student loans, her car, and her many different job skills that she had tried and quit. She didn’t respect me, I was a clown.  I rolled over for her, we seldom fought because of this.

The worst problem?  My kids didn’t respect me.  They watched as time and time again, I rolled over to my ex-wife.  I went to work, I came home, grabbed my list of her demands, and got to work.  Had I not had therapy, I would have died this way.  Being plugged in is not a way to live a life.

Now I was getting a voice, and she wasn’t happy.

We went to couples therapy.  My mind was set.  I needed to move on.  My life was too short to live this way.

I had lived 37 years as a Beta male.  Was this the turning point?  Could I finally live my life for me?  

Part 2 on Monday.

Welcome to The Red Pill Dad

Welcome to The Red Pill Dad

Good morning, and welcome to the launch of my new blog!

The Red Pill Dad, as the title suggests, is a blog not only about my observations in life as a single father, but also as a Red Pill aware man navigating this life.

My blog is designed to help me catalogue my journey, but also to help other men in similar situations confront the real (sometimes bitter) truth about inter-gender dynamics.

How do you interact with women as a single dad?  How do you date as a single dad in this day and age?  What successes have you had?  What lessons have you learned (or are still learning)?

This blog is intended to be interactive, as I’m always looking for any advice as well as dispensing what I know.

With the Feminine Imperative stronger than ever, men have to be equipped with the best information to not only survive in this environment, but to thrive and succeed.

Thank you and welcome.

-The Red Pill Dad